Archive for May 6th, 2008

The Rise of Mixed Marriages

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

Our city took in 40.4% of all newcomers to Canada between 2001 and 2006 — it has the largest number of visible minorities in the country with 2.17 million or 42.9% of Toronto’s population — thus diversifying the dating pool.
It makes sense that
mixed marriages in the country are on the rise - Stats Can counted 289,400 mixed unions in 2006, 33% higher than the 2001 figures.

It strikes me for the first time that none of my friends are partnered with people of their own ethnicity. (Perhaps the fact that I didn’t notice speaks to its prevalence, its ordinariness to a generation who has grown up in a city of different faces.)

This Saturday, my girlfriend who is of Chinese-Indian descent is marrying a man born in El Salvador. So in honour of the Census report (and anyone else flouting the stale taboo of interracial coupling), here’s a B&W about mixed marriages:

Best: Unifying the world one mixed marriage at a time.
(More from comedian Russell Peters on the world mixing: “If we make it 300 years from now, do you realize there is not going to be anymore white people? There is not going to be anymore black people. Everybody is going to be beige.”)

Worst: Fear of parental displeasure. (My mom’s still holding out for Chinese grandchildren. Good luck with that.)

Source: http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/toronto/archive/2008/04/02/best-and-worst-the-rise-of-mixed-marriages.aspx

New government figures show the proportion of couples in England and Wales who choose to get married has fallen to record low levels

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

In 2006, according to the Office for National Statistics, only 22.8 men per
1,000 unmarried men aged 16 and over got married, down from 24.5 a year
earlier. Among women, the rate was 20.5, down from 21.9. These are the
lowest rates since data on marriage was first collected in 1862.

A total of 236,980 marriage ceremonies were performed in 2006, or four per
cent fewer compared to 2005.

Jill Kirby, director of the London-based Centre for Policy Studies, warned
that the nation cannot afford to let marriage be “lost as the core
institution of society.”

“A clear reason for concern is that research demonstrates how important
marriage is to maintain stability for children,” she told The Guardian. “The
break-up of cohabiting couples is much higher than married couples.
Cohabitation is clearly not a satisfactory arrangement as far as children
are concerned.”

At a deeper level, said Frank Furedi, a professor of sociology at the
University of Kent, the numbers suggest “more and more people are not able
to have close relationships. People who are not married feel they resonate
with the times,” he told The Times.

In Canada, the institution of marriage also continues to erode same as  dating. Last year,
Statistics Canada revealed that for the first time ever, a majority of
Canadians aged 15 years and older (51.5 per cent) reported being single -
never married, divorced, separated or widowed. Twenty years earlier, that
figure had stood at 38.6 per cent.

Source: http://www.fotf.ca/tfn/family/stories/2008/080402.html

Russian dating scams

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

One remote city and so many beautiful women, all desiring nothing more than to fire the passion of British men.

Our pictures below show some of the stunning Russian ladies who have offered themselves on dating and marriage websites recently.

All of them hail from the far-flung outpost of Yoshkar-Ola, close to the Ural Mountains.

One willowy beauty is a hard-up nurse who is desperate to leave her impoverished homeland and start a new life with a man in the West.

Another is a medical student, though she more closely resembles a nymph-like model from the pages of a glossy magazine.

And a third is a glamorous 23-year-old who calls herself “Anna Safina”.

In an email to one British man, Anna wrote: “I wish I could be with you. I’m sure that together we will have a lot of fun and spend great time!

“I’m very caring person and loving, I will do for you everything to make you feel good.

“I want to wake up in the morning early and prepare food for you. I want to meet you in the evening when you come from your work and kiss you tender, to hold you and to show you all my love.”

It sounded just too good to be true and, of course, it was. In reality, “Anna” was part of a scam masterminded in Yoshkar-Ola, the scale of which was revealed last week to The Mail on Sunday by the FSB, the Russian secret service, after a series of raids.

Thousands of people, including many lonely and gullible British men, have lost large amounts of money after entering into correspondence with women on websites, naively beguiled by their warm words, suggestive chat and the sexy pictures they attach to their emails.

When they were asked to send money, which the women claimed was needed for British visas or to buy tickets for travel to Britain, the men readily agreed.

They never saw the money or heard from the women again.

In a final humiliating twist, they found out, usually far too late, that many of the sensuous “women” with whom they had been corresponding were actually men - part of one of the many sinister Russian mafia rings making a fortune out of such scams.

In one case, a member of a gang posed as a nurse using a photograph of the world-famous Bolshoi Ballet dancer Anastasia Volochkova.

One professional British man was so taken with the photograph that he sent “her” several thousand pounds, spurred on by a sob story from the nurse about her disabled mother who needed nursing care while she came to visit him in Britain.

When he discovered the truth, he was too embarrassed to contact the police.

According to investigators, the same photograph was also used to ensnare a 45-year-old German construction worker called Friedrich Deichmann, who eventually parted with ˆ26,000 (£21,500).

In this case, the gang used a team of female students, fluent in English, to write to him and even chat on the phone, pretending to be besotted with him.

Two of the men behind this particular scam - Sergey Chetverikov, 22, and Oleg Yelsukov, 24 - have now been brought to justice and are serving three years in prison.

But with the returns that can be made on these scams, the pair are likely to be back at work as soon as they get parole.

No other business pays as well in this grim backwater.

Volochkova herself, who left the Bolshoi Ballet in 2003, is now happily married in Moscow and horrified at her pictures being used by the scammers.

“I was enraged that my photograph served the rotten purposes of these swindlers,” she said.

“I wanted to take action myself at first when I discovered the scam.

“But then I realised our law-enforcement bodies could do it far better than me.

“This is my advice: those who prefer virtual romances should be much more prudent. You simply can’t be as unsuspecting as some of these men.

“This sordid business has recently seen a rapid growth in our country, with a great number of fake sites appearing on the web.

“People are striving to find their ‘other half’ and these crooks are like parasites on their feelings and hopes.

“I’m glad these swindlers were arrested. First of all, ˆ26,000 is a lot of money.

“Second, I can easily imagine how upset the man, who transferred the money was. He had certain hopes which were ruined in the lowest way.”

Another photograph used by the scammers was that of the Russian singer Alsou, the daughter of a wealthy oil tycoon, who has a penthouse in London and is also happily married.

Her pictures were simply ripped off and she was dubbed “Anna Safina”.

The capital of the Mari-El republic, Yoshkar-Ola, is 500 miles east of Moscow and is still suffering from the collapse of its manufacturing industry after the Soviet Union dissolved in 1991.

Today it is estimated that as many as one in 100 residents in the city is involved in dating scams.

No wonder this new industry is said to be worth an incredible £40-£ 50 million a year to the city.

One fraudster, who poses as an attractive blonde called Anna Ivanova, said: “The average salary in my city is £75 a month.

“The choice here is simple - either poverty or larceny. Now I earn £3,000 a month.

“People are fools if they want to find a wife on the internet.

“It is not real. I correspond with a whole division of Westerners - and they are all idiots.

“And I am quite successful in the business. I can wait to be noble and honest in my next life.”

In one case, a dozen British men were fooled by a picture of a model talking on the telephone while sitting on a bed.

One of the names she was given was “Natasha Ivanova”.

After complaints to the police, they discovered to their shame that they were being sweet-talked on the web by a beefy, 6ft 4in Cameroonian medical student named Nde Saninong.

The 28-year-old was earning some extra money for his classes at university in Russia.

After the matter was reported to Russian police, he was jailed.

One 45-year-old from London, who wanted to remain anonymous, explained how he fell into the trap.

“I met a woman through the internet. She had a lovely photo, which I now know was taken from a modelling agency brochure.

“I later found they were using the same pictures under a number of different aliases.

“I wrote back a few times, she gradually became warmer and eventually announced she wanted to come over and see me.

“Foolishly, I sent her money for a visa and an air fare and I never heard from her again.”

The story is amazingly common.

One British man, a police officer in his 40s, explained how he had sought a relationship on the internet but quickly became suspicious of a young woman who took a sudden interest in him. Her name was “Kristina Budrjashowa”.

“I subscribe to a dating website and in January I received an email from ‘Kristina’ claiming we had made contact on the site,” the man said.

“I had no recollection of this contact. She stated she was in the process of seeking to come to England and looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

“Three pictures of a stunning girl accompanied this message.”

Although at times her grasp of English was shaky, her enthusiasm could not be faulted: “I’m a lucky girl to meet such good man as you in internet!” she cooed.

“Almost all Russian men are like bears! They are so rude, they can’t be nice and polite, they don’t want to have a family. I think you are not like them.”

She asked if she could stay with him when she came to Britain.

The tacky pattern of conversation is used over and over again by the gangs, often changing nothing more than the name of the man they’re conning.

Yet it works, repeatedly, and the money keeps rolling in.

“I have a question,” asked Kristina suggestively. “Is it normal if we will like each other may be it is possible to live together?

“Of course if you or somebody doesn’t mind. Do you have a big wide bed? (joke).”

The man said: “I played along with her continued correspondence, through the pretence of her last day at work in Russia, her making plans to travel to England and her telling her family and friends what a wonderful man I was.

“Five days after she first made contact with me, she said she was on her way to Moscow in order to sort out her travel documents.

“She said she planned to fly to England and would be in touch the next day to pass on her travel plans.

“At this stage she had asked for nothing from me, but I guessed what was about to happen.”

Surfing through the multitude of dating sites, the man had found the same woman on another site, but with a different name.

“This ‘Kristina Budrjashowa’ was even pictured clutching the same cuddly toy as a woman called ‘Karina Zoubayrowa,’” he said.

“I was just waiting for the request for the money. I didn’t have to wait long. It arrived later the same day.”

Wisely, the man sent “Kristina” a fake reference number to use at a Western Union transfer office.

Kristina never received a penny and broke off contact with him completely.

In another case a Heathrow security worker was forced to barricade himself into his Russian holiday apartment as furious gang members demanded he pay up.

Basil Dalrymple, a 32-year-old from Lewisham, South-East London, had been seduced online by blonde and blue-eyed Irina Zenchenko after paying £70 to an agency called Euro-contacts. He even travelled to Yoshkar-Ola to meet her.

Surprisingly perhaps, this Irina really did exist - but her intentions were far from honourable.

Soon after Dalrymple arrived, she demanded he pay £500 for a trip to Sochi on the Black Sea coast.

“I wouldn’t hand over the money,” said Dalrymple.

“Eventually these men turned up at my holiday apartment banging on the door and demanding in Russian that I pay up.

“Then her father came back on his own and was shouting through the door. I got out of there as fast as I could.”

At any one time it is estimated that Yoshkar-Ola has up to 500 scamming “offices” - mostly situated in rented flats fitted with banks of computers and a satellite link for high-speed internet connections.

“There’s a good atmosphere, like in any office where we’re fighting to get as many deals as we can to raise the commission payments,” said Pyotr, a brash 29-year-old who supports two children from his income.

“In my office there is me and another guy directing it, and we have three girls, all students, who put the emails into good English.

“There are another couple of girls who help with the run to pick up the money when it’s sent by Western Union or Moneygram.

“They’re not well paid but it’s better than any other job round here.

“We use their names on the sites so that they can collect the cash when it’s sent, showing their passports at the bank.

“My office turns round about £15,000 a month, and we’re all on commission from our bosses.

“I won’t talk about them but, yes, you could say that they’re mafia.”

Pyotr refused to say whether, as is widely rumoured, such gangs have “friends” in the police and local government which enable them to work freely.

“The place is comfortable. We have beds and a Jacuzzi.

“Because of the time differences to Britain and the States, it makes sense for us to work through the night - but you can have breaks. We like to relax, too.”

Unlike many of his fellow scammers, Pyotr avoids using celebrity pictures to lure his victims.

Instead, he copies anonymous images he finds on the internet or in glossy magazines.

“Our main targets are men from their late 30s to 50s. We offer them women in their 20s, who may hint about sex but say they’re desperate for a family, but don’t trust Russian men.

“They claim they’re decent and religious but need to get on in their life, and this is their only chance to get to the West.”

Does he feel any guilt about what he does?

“Why? These British and American men think they can exploit our women.

“Do they really think that after you’ve known a girl for a couple of days on the web that she’s going to be lusting after you and truthfully saying, ‘I love you’ and ‘Can I come to your bed?’

“They’re pot-bellied, middle-aged fools. If they’re ready to send their money, they deserve all they get.”

Natasha, 21, who speaks English and pays her way through university as a scammer, said: “It’s the only work. I suppose it’s not nice to fool people, but they think they can take advantage of poor Russian girls.”

It seems as if everyone in this seedy city is trying to get a share of the scamming action.

Even pensioner Olga Mikhailova has joined in.

“I rent my apartment to scammers,” she boasted. “They are nice guys and always pay good rent.

“Yes, it is true, our city is the capital of scammers,” said Andrei, another gang member.

“Other cities have some scammers too, but we have more.

“There are so many that it is almost a legitimate business.”

In one raid, staged recently by the FSB, more than 200 people were arrested, including 30 ringleaders.

They were raking in around £250,000 a month.

But despite the raid, many other gangs continue to operate, raising suspicions that the police have turned a blind eye.

“At the moment, 14 men are charged, and the investigation is still in progress,” said one FSB source.

“The case is expected to go for trial this summer.

“Very often, the investigation of such cases happens after the police get a complaint from a cheated foreigner in Britain or elsewhere.

“They check the email address and arrest its owner who almost certainly turns out to be a cog in the wheel, small fry.

“Meanwhile, the arrest alerts the bosses who have time to hide all the traces of the bigger scams.

“This time we waited in order to gather more information and catch the bigger group.”

Last night, the British Embassy in Moscow said that it receives at least one complaint a week from British men ripped off by marriage and dating scams in Russia.

However, it is acknowledged that the complaints are just the tip of the iceberg.

Some estimates suggest that only one man in 50 complains about the loss of money. Most are just too embarrassed to do so.

“We recorded 58 such cases last year. All were from British males who developed an internet ‘relationship’ with a Russian ‘female’,” said an embassy source.

“During the course of this online relationship, photographs would be sent and arrangements made for the female to visit the UK.

“This is when the issue of money arises, first for the visa, then for the flight, bogus Customs clearance and other spurious reasons.”

British men also contact the embassy to check the validity of visas scanned and emailed by the women as proof that they are preparing to travel to the UK.

They are usually bogus.

Other men employ private detectives to check the backgrounds of women with whom they have been corresponding.

One such detective is Elena Garrett, a Russian woman who, ironically, is married to an American.

She said: “The client gives us her name, age and everything, and we come back in three days and we say, ‘There is no such girl. Such girl does not exist.’”

All in all, it doesn’t have much to do with love.

Clever Copycats: Online profiles are being stolen, cut and pasted

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

These identity thieves don’t want your money. They want your quirky sense of
humor and your cool taste in music.

Among the 125 million people in the U.S. who visit online dating and
social-networking sites are a growing number of dullards who steal personal
profiles, life philosophies, even signature poems. “Dude u like copied my
whole myspace,” posts one aggrieved victim.

Copycats use the real-life wit of others to create cut-and-paste personas,
hoping to land dates or just look clever.

Hugh Gallagher, a 36-year-old writer in New York, is one of the copied.
Match

.com has more than 50 profiles with parts of Mr. Gallagher’s college
entrance essay, which he wrote nearly 20 years ago and which later appeared
in Harper’s Magazine. “I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees” and “I
write award-winning operas” are among Gallagher’s most popular lines.

They worked well enough for Jim Carey, a 38-year-old pharmaceutical salesman
in Bothell, Wash. He said he wanted women to know that he was funny but was
too lazy to think up anything. So he copied Gallagher’s essay for his online
profile. A year ago, he arranged to meet a woman for drinks. She asked about
his operas. He confessed. “I felt like a balloon deflating,” he said.

Original souls who discover that they have been replicated said it’s
unethical and creepy. “I came across a guy who completely stole my profile
message,” posts one woman in Michigan. “I mean he had to have copied and
pasted the whole thing and then just changed gender specific things to fit
his own.”

Online daters feel pressure to stand out and believe they must sell
themselves like a product, say researchers at Georgetown, Rutgers and
Michigan State universities who are conducting a joint study of them. “You
are not making money off of somebody else’s work; you’re just trying to
market yourself,” said self-confessed copier Jeff Picazio, a 40-year-old
computer-systems manager in Boynton Beach, Fla. After hunting for some
copy-and-paste help - including borrowing the line “you will soon learn that
I’m a raging egomaniac” - Picazio said he’s gotten 20 dates.

A search on MySpace.com brought up more than 700 recent comments that accuse
others of stealing headlines, user names, songs, background designs and
entire profiles. In a recent survey of more than 400 online daters
commissioned by Engage.com, 9 percent of respondents said they copied from
another person’s profile; 15 percent suspect their own words were stolen.

A Match.com profile of a man in Redmond, Wash., includes this postscript:
“Shame on the woman who plagiarized my narrative and stole it for her
profile!” And a 34-year-old woman in Basking Ridge, N.J., tacked this P.S.
to her Plentyoffish.com profile: “To the girl who copied my profile - and
denies it … you s-!”

The quest for originality has spawned the services of online-dating coaches
and profile writers. Some of them are victims, too. Dave Mizrachi, 34, of
Miami sells an “Insider Internet Dating” course for $97. Mizrachi includes
his own dating profile, advising men to use it as a guide. But at least 25
people on Match.com have stolen his lines, including: “I get a lot of women
e-mailing me, (which is great for an ego boost).” One man uses Mizrachi’s
photo.

A recent search on Match.com brought up more than 90 profiles with such
lines as: “I want an opposite. A yin to my yang,” or “You know that woman
who is the first person on the dance floor at every party? That’s me.” They
weren’t even from real people. They were cribbed from sample profiles posted
online at E-Cyrano.com by Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach and profile writer.
“It just seems so short-sighted,” said Katz, of Los Angeles. “Everybody
steals the same lines so they are not original anymore.”

The Internet makes plagiarism anonymous and easy. Nearly half of high-school
students and nearly 40 percent of college undergrads confess they copy
online sources, according to surveys conducted by Donald McCabe, a founder
of the Center for Academic Integrity at Clemson University in South
Carolina. Stealing for appearance sake is a new twist. “People are still
trying to develop a sense of how to present themselves online,” said Joseph
Walther, a communication professor at Michigan State University.

The book Online Dating for Dummies tells readers not to fret about copying.
The

ProfileCoach.com, meanwhile, offers 12 “proven” profiles for $4. Sample:
“There is a shallowness, a fakeness to much of the ’singles scene.’” A
number of blogs offer free headlines for social-networking profiles,
including, “Ernie’s train of thought has derailed.” For $50, weeklyscore.com
offers 20 personal essays and 100 headlines, all updated weekly.

Thierry Khalfa said he had a good excuse to copy. His English isn’t so good.
Khalfa, a 44-year-old Frenchman, first cobbled a ho-hum profile that said he
liked to cook and enjoyed walks on the beach. Then he stumbled across the
profile of Mike Matteo, 47, a screenwriter in Tampa, Fla. Matteo’s profile
had such nuggets as, “I have a sweet tooth, love my strawberry twizzlers and
cheesecake jelly beans.”

Without thinking twice, Khalfa said, he copied Matteo’s prose because it
also fit him to a tee. “That guy should be proud,” said Khalfa, of Largo,
Fla., who runs an auto-glass business. “In France, in the fashion business,
when you see something that looks good, you take it and you copy it.”

Khalfa caught the eye of preschool teacher Marjorie Coon, 48. They exchanged
e-mails, and Coon wanted to meet Khalfa. Then she discovered he had copied
the profile of Matteo, by coincidence her friend. She let Khalfa know she
knew and dumped him. “I felt he was less than honest, a manipulator and
downright stupid,” said Coon, of Largo, Fla. Matteo wasn’t too happy,
either. “I’m not Cyrano de Bergerac,” he said, referring to the 19th-century
play about a man penning love letters for a rival.

Some copiers are harder to figure out. Cambria Lovelady, a 31-year-old
editor in Austin, Texas, went on two dull dates with a man and afterward
reread his online profile. He had copied her entire “About Me” paragraph.

Tracing authorship can be complicated. Chele Frizell, a 34-year-old nurse in
Dayton, Ohio, swiped a MySpace.com headline from a friend: “Those who
believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.” She confessed her theft in a missive
to the MySpace page of Holly Payne, 34, of Hollywood. “I totally copied your
headline, but in Spanish. Does that still count?” Not really. Ms. Payne
stole it from the late Kurt Vonnegut.

Chris Garansi, an electrician in Rock Hill, S.C., said he has received about
10 e-mails asking permission to copy his dating profile, which is headlined,
“Wanted outlaw princess.” Said princess is someone who “while climbing a
tree can be all woman, while letting you know she can climb higher than you
would ever dare.” Among Garansi’s requirements: “Chunky is fine but lumpy is
how I like my mashed potatoes, and rolls are only good when served with
dinner.” He says he refuses people who ask to copy his work. “Either they
lack imagination, or they just don’t know who they are,” said Garansi, 43.

Online administrators said that complaints of copied profiles are rare. If a
profile is sufficiently creative, its author could theoretically sue a
copier under copyright law. But lawyers said it would be expensive. “As a
practical matter, what you would probably try to do is try to get the site
to take the copier’s profile down,” said Jeffrey Neuburger, of law firm
Thelen Reid Brown Raysman & Steiner LLP. Some sites say they do that.

Last year, JDate.com released online dating tips, including the importance
of a strong “About Me” paragraph.

Yahoo Personals provides two examples with the plea, “Don’t copy these
profiles exactly.” But a quick search shows plenty have. A favorite among
women: “If you love mushroom ravioli, romantic nights by a fire, and spring
camping trips, please reply.” And for men: “I guarantee I can change the oil

in your car in 10 minutes flat.”

Laurie Crane said three men copied her profile, apparently thinking that it
would spark her interest. One wrote, “We have a lot in common.” Crane, a
43-year-old art director in Chicago, didn’t date any of them. “Who knows
what these guys are thinking,” she said.

Finding her profile stolen angered Lavonna Short, of Sitka, Alaska. It also
gave her pause. Short, a 47-year-old mental-health professional, said that
the thief used every qualification she had written about her perfect mate -
financially secure, able to take care of himself, not looking for a mother.
It read like a shopping list, she said. “When I saw myself through someone
else’s eyes, I didn’t like it.” She rewrote her profile - more mystery, less
rigidity - and found her mate.

Are You Crazy Enough for Online Blind Dates?

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

The creators of free online dating service OKcupid have created a new concept on online dating - blind dates. Last November the team launched a new service called Crazy Blind Date that allows people in select cities to meet up with others without seeing a picture or ever communicating with them.

The way the service works is like this:

1) You sign up for an account and upload a photo that they do a “super blur” on so that people can’t tell what you look like.

2) You enter criteria for your date like the age range, height range, ethnic background, and education.

3) You select a place and time where you would like to meet someone.

4) When the system finds a match, you are notified and given the super blurry picture of your date and a short description (so that you can find each other).

5) You go on the blind date!

Online Dating Stigma - Does it Still Exist?

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

For years, people who have used online dating services have sometimes been perceived by others as “lonely, desperate, or unable to get a date.” But the stigma didn’t prevent a massive growth of the online dating market as people discovered for themselves that online dating is, by far, the best way to meet a potential lifelong partner.

But even with the growth and success of online dating, a stigma still clearly exists. Recent research by market research company Vizu and free dating online service OKcupid shows that when it comes to online dating, a strong stigma still remains. According to their research, 72% of Internet users believe there is a social stigma still tied to online dating.

Another research study earlier this year, by Synovate, found that more than a third of Americans believed that those who use online dating services are “only desperate people.”

In an Online Dating Magazine Top 10 Funniest Profile Headers column, coming in number one was “Willing to Lie About How we Met”

Is it OK to break up via email?

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

17% of Americans think it is OK to break up via email, according to a poll conducted for the TV game show, Power of 10, which premiered tonight on CBS.

A male and female contestant were competing against each other to see which could come closest and win the round as a result of dating. The Power of 10 host, Drew Carey, posed the question:

“What percentage of American’s think it’s acceptable to break up with someone via email?”

The male contestant answered 11% and the female contestant answered 19%. The answer was 17%, giving the victory for the round to the female who was only 2 percentage points off.

Don’t Date Him Girl Slammed as Hate Site

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

The O’Reilly Factor on Wednesday labeled reputation management service Don’t Date Him Girl as a hate site. Don’t Date Him Girl allows women to post names, pictures, and personal information of men they’ve dated along with narrative on how bad that person is. Many women are allowed to sign their posts anonymously while making unproven accusations against men they name. The controversial service has been around a few years and has faced at least one lawsuit from a man posted to the service.

To open the segment, O’Reilly said:

“As we’ve been telling you, there and hundreds - maybe thousands - of hate dating Websites available for your perusal. One of them is called Don’t Date Him Girl…”

For the segment, host Bill O’Reilly interviewed Mary Katharine Ham, editor of TownHall.com. Ham said the following in the show:

“This is a really pretty nasty dating Website where women who are upset with their ex’s, as women often are, go on and say pretty nasty things about them - allegations which largely cannot be proven, but are out there in print and these guys have to suffer from the fact that they are out there…”

In the same segment, two more sites were called out, including one called Fire in the Hole where teens film things like going to drive-thru, ordering a drink, then throwing the drink at the employee and speeding off. In addition, another site was chastised for allowing men and women to “create an alibi” so that they can get assistance lying about a business trip, etc. in order to have an affair without getting caught.

Microsoft Eyeing Online Dating Marketplace

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

A patent filed by Microsoft shows that the company is interested in getting into the online dating service industry. The patent outlines plans for a photo-based online dating services where matches are created by looks. The way it works is that a person uploads a picture of a man or woman that he/she finds attractive. Microsoft’s system then finds matches based on facial elements from the photo. In addition, the system will allow people to view a photograph and rate various aspects of it like the persons hair, nose, mouth, and face dimensions. The ratings are then used to help identify matches based on the users look preferences.

From the patent:

“The image-based search eases the challenge of textually describing physical attributes. The search includes comparing a query image provided by the user to a plurality of stored images of faces stored in a stored image database, and determining a similarity of the query image to the plurality of stored images. One or more resultant images of faces, selected from among the stored images, are displayed to the user based on the determined similarity of the stored images to the query image. The resultant images are displayed based at least in part on one or more facial features.”

Many Female Online Daters Taking Huge Risks Online and on First Dates

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

Thirty percent of women who use online dating services have had sex on a first date, according to a study by Sexuality Research & Social Policy, a journal of the National Sexuality Research Center. The research was conducted by Paige M. Padgett, Ph.D., and published in the June 2007 issue of the journal. The name of the study is Personal Safety and Sexual Safety for Women Using Online Personal Ads.

While the 30% of women having sex on the first date may surprise people, even more shocking is that out of that number, 77% of them didn’t use any protection during the sexual encounters. Some online dating services make it easy for people to meet up for sexual encounters by offering “Intimate” or “Erotic” services to members.

“Risky behaviour like this, from both males and females, is contributing to the dramatic rise of sexually trasmitted diseases,” says Joe Tracy, Publisher of Online Dating Magazine. Online Dating Magazine, a consumer watchdog publication for online daters, also contains an STD Info Center with educational information about sexually transmitted diseases. “When you have unprotected sex with people you are meeting online, you are playing russian roullette with your health. It’s not a matter of ‘if’ you’ll get a sexually transmitted disease, but rather ‘when’ and ‘how many’.”

Safety measures some women use before meeting a man, according to the study, are:

1) Googling him.

2) Running a background check.

3) Not giving any personal information (like address, phone number, etc.).

4) Revisit subjects already discussed to see if the man is lying.

5) Gut instinct.

The study shows a strong popularity of online daters using email to communicate with each other. Some women set sex boundaries via email, others made it clear there would be no sex on the first date, and others didn’t discuss the subject at all.

The study showed that neary 3/4ths of those who had sexual encounters never discussed STDs or AIDS. And email apparently played a major role in how far intimacy went so quick. From the abstract:

“The high frequency and intensity of email communication prior to meeting in person cultivated acceleration of intimacy for the individuals involved and may have affected somen’s decisions to engage in risky sexual behaviours.”

The study used a survey placed on various online dating services and targetting women. The survey was completed by 740 women of which 568 said they had met someone in person. While 30% had sex on the first date, some were specifically looking for that.

Many Men and Women Lie in Their Online Dating Profiles

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

According to a new study, many people tell “little white lies” on their online dating profiles, lying about things like age, height, and weight.

Using a new method that measured the actual difference between profile information and reality, the study revealed that men systematically overestimated their height, while women more commonly underestimated their weight.

“Surprisingly, age-related deception was minimal and did not differ by gender,” said Jeffrey Hancock, an assistant professor of communication at Cornell University and lead author of the study. The study will be published in the April 2007 issue of Proceedings of Computer/Human Interaction.

According to the study:

» About 52.6 percent of the men in the study lied about their height, as did 39 percent of the women.

» Slightly more women lied about their weight (64.1 percent) than did men (60.5 percent).

» When it came to age, 24.3 percent of the men were untruthful, compared with 13.1 percent of the women.

For the study, a “lie” was defined as follows:

» For height, the discrepancy between what was said in the profile and reality had to be greater than half an inch.

» For weight, the deviation between what was said in the profile and reality had to be greater than five pounds.

» For age, there had to be a difference of a year between what was said in the profile and reality.

The results showed that a higher percentage of participants lied about their weight than either their height or age. For nearly two-thirds of the participants the difference between posted weight and actual weight was incorrect by five pounds or more.

Hancock says that social research abounds on how men and women use different strategies for finding love. In general, men seek youth and physical attractiveness in a partner, while women look for men who can provide as well as indicators of social status, such as level of education and career. The pattern of lies — frequent but slight — suggest that deception in online dating profiles is strategic.

“Participants balanced the tension between appearing as attractive as possible, while also being perceived as honest,” said Hancock.

Many online dating services are now changing the way they handle the issue of weight, asking for a general body type (i.e. thin, athletting, a little overweight, etc.) instead of an actual weight. According to Hancock, however, the basic tension of trying to appear as attractive as possible without having a deception detected still applies.