Archive for May 21st, 2008

Dating Coach Technique

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Dating coaches may coach through electronic books, one-on-one coaching, small group seminars, and weekend workshops. One-on-one coaching can involve counseling and in-the-field coaching[6], which can involve practicing flirting[1] They teach how to conduct better conversations, how to dress, how to hug appropriately, and anything else that may help achieve success in dating.[7] Common elements of dating coaches’ tips include the need to decide what you are looking for and remain positive.[1]

According to Joanie Edelberg, an advantage of seeking advice from a dating coach rather than from a friend is that the coach may be willing to be more honest.[6] Indeed, one of the main points of a dating coach is to candidly point out less-than-helpful behavior.[1] Dating coaches may simply encourage a person to work on staying happy and thankful for the many positive things that fill their life. This happy attitude will radiate outwards - attracting others.[8]

Some dating coaches specialize in helping with online dating.[9] This could include helping people rewrite their online profiles to obtain better results,[10] start initial email conversations, get professional photo shoots, and so on.

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Dating coach

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Dating coaches are coaches whose job is to direct and train people to improve their success in dating and relationships.

Dating is not simple.[citation needed] A dating coach directs and trains their clients on various aspects of meeting and attracting long-term partners and meeting more compatible prospects. The focus of most programs is on confident and congruent communication.

Dating coaches may focus on topics important to the art of dating: interpersonal skills, flirting, psychology, sociology, compatibility, fashion, and recreational activities

Neil Strauss in The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists also focuses on neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), theories of persuasion, history, and evolutionary biology, body language, humor and street smarts.

Dating coaches typically charge rates similar to that of other professional counselors (e.g. $75-125/hour).[1] Seminars involving multiple audience members typically charge less than one-on-one meetings, however.

There has been a stigma attached to those who seek help from dating coaches. Some counterarguments to this stigma are that most people have dating coaches in the form of older siblings, charismatic friends, or honest lovers; and that it is socially acceptable to seek coaches in other, potentially less important aspects of life such as guitar playing.[2] A response to this is that dating is easier than activities like guitar playing, and coaches should be unnecessary. A counterargument to that response is that there are many people who have been out of the dating world for so long that the techniques that used to work for them (such as going out to bars) no longer work; and some people have barriers that they need to deal with before they can be successful.[3] Another argument using a dating coach is that it is taking the easy way out, rather than trying and failing on one’s own, which can bring its own benefits, such as teaching self-reliance.[4]

Some factors contributing to the rise of dating coaching is that people are become busier; women have begun acting more masculine and men more submissive, which ruins the attraction; fast-changing rules of the dating game that leave the less socially-skilled behind; and the release of books like The Game and movies like Hitch which have made dating coaching seem more normal.[5]

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Problems with Online Dating Services

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

There can be a variety of problems when utilizing online dating sites.

  • Some sites expect members to sign up “blind,” meaning that users have no preview of the profiles they will get to see. On other services, some profiles are not actually real people, but “bait” that has been placed there by the site owners to attract new paying members. Some users spam sites with “fake” profiles that are in reality advertisements to other services, such as prostitution, multi-level marketing, or other personals websites. A majority of dating sites keep profiles online for months or even years since the last time the person has logged in, thereby making it seem as though they have more available members than they actually do. Many sites offer the option to sort search results based on activity, however.
  • Most members are enticed to join dating websites with free or low-priced “trial” memberships advertised on many other websites. These trial memberships lack many of the features of the full membership, including the ability to contact other members or reply to e-mail from other members. On sites which require credit card information to join at all, these trial memberships may automatically become full memberships at the end of the trial period and charge the full monthly fee, without any additional action from the member, regardless of whether the member has actually used the services or not. For paying members, it is often unclear whether a potential contact has a full subscription and whether he or she will be able to reply at all.
  • Some members have expressed complaints about the billing practices of certain dating sites. In some cases, trial memberships that were canceled within the trial period were automatically re-billed even after canceling. To avoid these potential problems, some users have advised using a virtual credit card number which is offered by several credit card companies.
  • Even when members’ profiles are “real”, there is still an inherent lack of trust with other members. Many members misrepresent themselves by telling flattering ‘white lies’ about their height, weight, age, or by using old and misleading photos. Members can, of course, ask for an up-to-date photograph before meeting others. Matrimonials Sites are a variant of online dating sites, and these are geared towards meeting people for the purpose of getting married. Gross misrepresentation is less likely on these sites than on ‘casual dating’ sites. Casual dating sites are often geared more towards short term (and implicitly sexual) relationships.
  • Online predators find online dating sites especially attractive, because such sites give them an unending supply of new targets of opportunity for Internet fraud. A recent study, led by Dr. Paige Padgett from the University of Texas Health Science Center, found that there was a false degree of safety assumed by women looking for love on the internet, exposing them to stalking, fraud, and sexual violence.[12] Some online dating sites conduct background checks on their members in an attempt to avoid problems of this nature.
  • On any given dating site, the sex ratio is commonly unbalanced.
  • Disreputable sites such as Quechup may harvest users’ personal information and contacts for use in e-mail spam.

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