Archive for June, 2008

How to get attention

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

Some lessons to be learned which you can use it at Free online dating site

Hey Dave, how’s it hanging?

Read your stuff…interesting. Makes a lot of
sense to appear different then all the others. I
have one question, however. This C&F stuff (can I
call it “friendly mocking”?) really only works on
women who are sure of themselves and who will not
take your jokes to the heart. But how many of
those are in the world? I mean, with today’s
“perfect” pop-stars most women have at least some
insecurities. So, how can you use this technique
and not accidentally hit a weak spot? Is there a
neutral C&F approach?

J Brooklyn, NY

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I think you’re hitting on an important point
here.

I think that a lot of guys “secretly” want to
figure out a way to meet women without RISKING
anything.

This is probably why personal ads and online
dating web sites are so popular.

The problem with not wanting to RISK anything
is that it creates a mindset that leads to being
AVERAGE.

And “average” doesn’t create ATTRACTION.

I teach guys to use a specific kind of humor
that I call “Cocky & Funny”.

One of the purposes of the Cocky & Funny
technique is to clearly demonstrate that you are
NOT intimidated by a woman, and to INSTANTLY
communicate that you are DIFFERENT from other men.

You’d like to know the magic way to “not
accidentally hit a weak spot”…

But guess what?

Accidents happen.

Risk is part of life.

Don’t worry so much about hitting a “weak spot”
while you’re teasing or busting on a woman… just
concern yourself with making sure you’re being
FUNNY while you’re doing it.

If you meet a woman who is so sensitive that
she can’t take a joke, or you “accidentally” over
do it, don’t worry about it. No biggie.

She’s probably either too uptight or
emotionally fragile for you to have a good time
with anyway.

If you want to make a cake, you have to break a
few eggs, man.

Remember, your objective isn’t to be MEAN to
women, or to hurt them… your objective is to use
a specific type of humor to create ATTRACTION.

And give up this “neutral” idea. Neutral is
BORING. And Boring is NOT the way to create
ATTRACTION.
***QUESTION***

David “The Man”–

First of all, your Advanced CD Series is THE most
definitive exhaustive resource on dating ever
written. It boggles my mind that nobody ever
figured this stuff out before. You are the
research scientist that broke the mold of all that
bookstore fluff, the Darwin of Dating.

I can now approach and get the email of a woman
who would have made me shake in my boots just a
few months ago. My most recent success was a girl
I dated who I turned up the C+F to the max, but my
old inner wussy made a brief appearance and that
was that. Oh well. “Next!” I’ll get better and
better.

I have improved quite a bit, but I’m looking for
some guy friends as you suggest. However, I’m
having a problem finding guys who are good with
women. I’m not seeing them. All I see everywhere
I go are wusses. Any thoughts or ideas?

I’ve also thought about finding friends who are
students of yours so we can get together for team
efforts. Any suggestions here?

Thanks again for the incredible impact you’ve had
on my life.

J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, I have one thought for you…

This “Everywhere I go all I see is wusses”
thing can be a challenge. I shake my head almost
every single time I go out, because I think we’re
in the middle of a WUSS EPIDEMIC in this country.

Keep looking.

It’s worth it.

If you have to, ask friends and associates at
work if they know any guys who are really good
with women.

And remember, be cool. Guys who are good with
women often like to help other guys learn. But
don’t be a boat anchor around his neck…

If you do your homework and find some guys who
can help you, it will REALLY pay off.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Sir,

I received one of you Q&A emails by mistake, I’m
sure. I am an intelligent, female professional and
I reall-ll-ll-lly had a good laugh after reviewing
your web site as well.

If you think that ALL women will be turned on by
these things, you are very mistaken. The classy,
sophisticated, and well educated as well as
intriguing and very attractive will have totally
different opinions on all these subjects. I think
you would do better to consider your experience as
incomplete.

However, I’m sure you are making an obscene
amount of money by offering this misinformation
for sale to men.

Laughing Uncontrollably in Alaska

>>>MY COMMENTS:

An intelligent female professional that lives
in ALASKA?

Don’t even get me started there…

And since you seem to be claiming here that
you’re an AUTHORITY on “The classy, sophisticated,
and well educated… as well as intriguing and
very attractive” women… I have to ask you where
you’re getting this particular education…
Alaska?

Maybe those words mean something different
where you’re from.

Whatever.

Look, I used to be a “nice”, sweet, BORING guy
who did nice things for women, acted respectful,
and generally was everything I thought a “good
guy” should be.

And my success with meeting and attracting
women was horrible.

I had a few good relationships with attractive
women, but these were ACCIDENTAL. It only happened
because I was in the right place at the right
time, and because the women just happened to have
NOTHING BETTER GOING ON.

Now that I do what I teach, I’m able to attract
beautiful women whenever I want.

You do the math.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hey Dave,

I forward your news letter to my ex-husband and to
my other male friends and they all thanked me for
it. I agree with all of your advice. It’s kind of
scary how well you read women. You have also
helped me to realize what I’m attracted to and
why. Take care!

S MD

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, it’s OK for you to admit that you’re
attracted to ME.

I don’t blame you.

You forgot to include your picture, dear.

Waiting patiently.

Your friend,

David D.

P.S. Stop forwarding these emails to your Ex.
It’s bad enough that you love me… but to add
insult to injury for the poor guy…
***SUCCESS STORY***

David,

So, I go into a shoe store the other day and I’m
just kind of browsing. The clerk– a cutie of age
21–asks me if she can help me. I kindly ask her
to get me a certain pair to try on. As I put the
shoes on, she enthusiastically squeaked, “WOW
THOSE SHOES LOOK GREAT ON YOU!!!”. I mocked her in
the same hi-pitch tone, “YOU’RE ON COMMISION YOU
NEED TO SAY THAT!!” She gave me that playful
little slap on the arm and told me I was “a little
sh**”. I go on teasing her for 5 minutes or so
and she asks me if I would like a job at this
store. When she gave me the application, she also
hands me her HOME ADDRESS and phone number and
asked me to hand deliver it that night. To keep it
short, that nite I gave her more than my job
resume!!!

Now, David, the previous situation is very unusual
for me, as I rarely have much to say, period. I’ve
always been very shy and very quiet but am
starting to come out of that. I’m not scared to
approach women or anything but I just don’t know
how to start or keep conversation, you know? I’ve
read books on this, listened to tapes and nothing
seems to help. Dave, I need some advice!!!

DK Indiana

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, nice one!

Great example of how to use Cocky & Funny with
a woman!

And as for meeting women, stop worrying about
STARTING OR KEEPING CONVERSATIONS GOING.

Just walk up to women, get their phone numbers,
and then get together with them later for a cup of
tea.

No “starting of conversations” required.

Use my 3 minute email/number technique, and
then break out your killer sense of humor later
when you’re alone with her.

You’re doing fine… don’t worry about
“conversations”.

And if you do wind up in a conversation, just
start out by talking about normal things, then
transition into the Cocky & Funny material as you
progress.
***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,

I have been receiving your emails for a while now
and boy have they been working. As a matter of
fact, I was actually using the C/F all the time,
without even realizing it. For example,

In one of my classes there is this girl that acts
weird most of the time (she’s a solid 9.5) and one
day she was talking to me, and I just turned
around and said to my friend: “Did you say mental
hospital?” I got a shot in the arm for that one.
I kept unknowingly using C/F on her for maybe
three days and then after one C/F comment she
replied (with her hand on my shoulder): “I like
you, you make me laugh” then she winked and turned
around. I was shocked! I mean, I had basically
been making fun of her. Little did I know that I
had been doing everything right (this was before I
started getting your emails).

So anyway, my question. I have no problems meeting
women in malls, on campus etc, but what about
online? Are there any C/F comments I can use to
start a conversation? The only ones I can think of
are when they have ridiculous/absurd chat names.

Thanks

A

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, one of the GREAT things about teasing
women is that you can basically GUESS things about
them and they’ll respond.

For instance, if you’re talking to a woman
online, and you haven’t seen her picture, you can
say:

“OK, you’re probably some hairy, manly, seven
hundred pound beast… and that’s why you haven’t
sent me your picture…”

(Use this kind of thing when she says that
she’s a model or dancer, etc. and it’s obviously
not even close.)

The bolder you are, and the funnier, the better
you’ll do when guessing.

Try it, you’ll like it.
***QUESTION***

Dave-

Whussup Man? Well I’m not gonna waste your time
or mine telling you about how great your teaching
and knowledge is, because we both already know
what’s up! I’m a 19 yr old who has downloaded your
ebook and I’ve read about the last 20+ emails..
I’m learning a lot. But I’m not where I want to be
yet.

Well here is what happened. I had lady friend
of mine over to the house the other night. Now we
have been friends for a little while now and I
have to tried in the past to pursue this woman but
like a lot of males in the world.. I would always
turn wussy on her. This women is about 5′
nothing’,
with a beautiful mind and a beautiful body, (she
is a 8 or 9 on my scale, and I’m picky.)*the radio
is ON* We haven’t talked in a while so we caught
up on each others lives..had some laughs with the
cocky/funny attitude and I even fixed dinner! Well
I told her before I made dinner that when we
finished eating she owed me a 30 min. massage. She
said okay. Now, we get done eating and she tells
me to dim the lights and lay down. She tells me
she is goin’ to wash her hands and never comes
back.. SHE LEFT!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!

JF from Texas

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What happened?

You went and spanked your chicken with reckless
abandon?

You cried yourself to sleep?

lol… it’s probably horrible that I’m laughing
at your misery, but hey, these things happen.

Don’t worry about it, man.

Next time, try making something other than
“Hamburger Helper” with rainbow popsicles for
dessert.

I think you’re gonna live.

The problem is that you acted like a WUSSY for
so long, that the thought of you being anything
more than a friend made her RUN all the way home.

You created your own problem, by trying to make
a girl who was convinced that you were a Wuss into
something more than a friend. It’s not easy.
***COMMENT***

Today I met an ex-girlfriend (and now good friend
and occasional date) for lunch at an Indian
buffet. This is a woman who has commented in the
past that she didn’t like my cocky side (either I
wasn’t doing it right, or she was lying), so I was
looking for a good opportunity to segue into a C&F
routine and see how it affected her. At one point
she complained that the bread was cold, and that I
should go get some fresh stuff…

ME: What’s in it for me? [unoriginal line] HER:
I’ll stay and finish lunch at your table.
Otherwise,      I’ll go get the bread and sit over
there by myself.      [great answer!] ME: Well,
that’d be embarrassing. HER: Yup. ME: Everyone in
the restaurant would think that you    had to
move because you’ve got real bad gas.

And it went from there. You could see her eyes
getting brighter throughout the conversation, and
it ended with:

HER: Wow, you’re feisty today… ME: Yeah, so…?
HER: So, it’s really… attractive. ME [laughing]:
Boy, you’re easy today…

That’s a confession straight from the source:
feisty = attractive. And she went on to
demonstrate her attraction after lunch in an
unusually aggressive manner. I think everything
you’re saying is capital-T Truth, brother.

You know, people assume that Kissinger was talking
about political power being the ultimate
aphrodisiac, but I think there are many nuances to
the word “power”, and you don’t have to be a
senator or CEO to exploit it.

Interesting aside: I was discussing this with an
insightful female friend, and she agreed with
everything you say, and added that women don’t
want to be our mothers… and if we treat them
like we treat our mothers (i.e., act like a wuss),
what does that say?

C.K.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Amen, brother. Amen.

Feisty, Sassy, Cheeky, Ballsy… = ATTRACTION.
***QUESTION***

hey dave-lets get to the chase. 2 things (first
the success story).. i met this chik who was
getting off work..yelled out “HEY!” and she came
over to me.. i started talking about anything and
everything to get/keep her attention..busting on
her and all ..she gave me her # after 20 minutes..
BUt i didn’t call. then i ran into her again in
the
neighborhood but this time i did the same thing
“whats your # again?” and then finally i wrote it
down and scored on the second meeting after
coffee.. the stuff works bro

now for the wuss part..i meet this chik last
summer who was in town for her job assignment that
lasted for 1 month. Shes a real player. We met
again after the party (she called me and said hey
I’m coming over) and within 30 minutes she was in
my bed in her bra/panties BUT i didn’t do anything
cause she was complaining about how guys are such
dogs. so i didn’t do anything for the next 5
meetings. She said “I’m glad you never did
anything
cause we still wouldn’t be talking if u did”.
Anyway, last time we meet she invites me AND 4
other guys for dinner. she sits on their laps
(just like she did with me) to make me jealous. we
have kept in touch for 5 months and next month
she’ll be back for a 2 week visit. i have heard
shes talking to 5 other guys in town besides me.
whenever i confront her on the phone about these
guys she says “nooo! I’m not! and I’ve never slept
with any of them so ignore the rumors! who do you
believe them or me??!” she called me 1 month ago
and let my phone ring once, and then when i called
her back it was a guys voice (she moved in with
her “friend” from high school)

my question is: i told her how i felt about her
and she already said she just wants to be friends
because she travels around a lot. she’ll be
staying with 1 or 2 of these guys shes talking to
when she comes back and will try to make me sooo
jealous i know it. she called me last week and
actually asked me for one of these guys numbers. I
got angry and hung up on her (something i would
never have done before) and then she called me
back and actually seems a lot more interested.
Then i called her yesterday from work and told her
that a stripper approached me at a bar and asked
me out and then this girl said “ohh well why don’t
you go out with her then?” but then said “OH by
the way Im coming back on APRIL 21st”.. i want to
beat her at her own damn game! but i already gave
her so much power. i wish i could just take it all
back and make her feel the same way.

HOW DO I HANDLE THIS GIRL:??? SHES DRIVING ME
NUTS!!!

CJ

Houston,TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, this is actually a very powerful story.

First, she intimidated you by telling you that
“guys are dogs”… which caused you to not try to
take things to a physical level.

When you did that, YOU FAILED THE FIRST TEST.

She intimidated you with her words!

Then, the more you pursued her without
progressing, the more she tested you.

Until she finally started INSULTING you…
right in front of a bunch of other guys!

By the way, when you mentioned that after you
hung up on her she seemed a lot more interested…
it’s probably true.

Look, man…. BAIL! Drop it. Hit the road.

You screwed up in the beginning by handing over
control of the relationship to her, and it’s not
worth the trouble or hassle to try to take it
back.

She’s probably the type of girl that LOVES to
play guys and make them chase her… and who
enjoys seeing how much a guy will do to get her…
only to leave after he does all he can.

Move on.

Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo

Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site

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Some secrets about women mom

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Dave, Why is it that a woman who is only
interested in the funny, cocky and challenging
(i.e., interesting) men, later in life tries to
raise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and “nice”?
(i.e., run of the mill)!! WS New York
>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a VERY interesting question, and I’m
glad you emailed me to ask it.

I’m going to give you my personal take on this.
But, more importantly, I’m going to talk about how
these kinds of paradoxes exist right in plain
sight all around us… and how to interpret them
so you can increase your own personal success with
women and dating.

So, to answer your question first…

I’ve spent a lot of time researching this
topic, and doing a lot of personal testing to see
if I could find some answers.

Right now, as I write this, I think that it
goes like this:

“Being Nice” in the way that you’re describing,
usually means things like: giving compliments,
buying gifts, providing food, doing favors,
tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending to
be in a good mood even if you’re not, etc.

I believe that this is mostly a SOCIALLY and
CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of “rules”. There may
be some “hard wiring” in us that makes us
“naturally” want to do nice things for women so
they’ll give us approval, but I think it’s mostly
PROGRAMMED into us…

Now, think about it this way: These “nice”
things are typically very FEMININE things to do…

So, what’s a mom in today’s culture going to
teach her son?

Of course… how to be “nice” to girls.

And, what if there’s no dad around to help out
in the “training” of a son? You guessed it… even
MORE “nice” programming from mom.

The bottom line is that most of the people
walking around on this planet have NO IDEA how
ATTRACTION works, and therefore will never be able
to TEACH another person how this fabulous process
works.

This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wanted
the best for you, she just had no idea how to
explain what makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom may
have gotten the tingles when she saw Clint
Eastwood shooting everyone… and Neil Diamond
running around with his sneer, hairy chest and
that pickle in his jeans… (and that reminds
me… EWWWWWW… your mom is gross, dude).

Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo

Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site

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Some secrets about women mom part2

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

OK. Let’s talk about what we can actually LEARN
from this kind of phenomenon which would help you in Free online dating site

The thing that really fascinates me about
people is THEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S
GOING ON… even though it’s going on IN PLAIN
SIGHT ALL AROUND THEM… and the even MORE amazing
tendency to ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHEN one of these
OBVIOUS THINGS IS PRESENTED TO THEM.

I’ve read some fascinating books about the
concept of “self-deception”, and I’ve come to
realize that we humans have an amazing capacity
for not seeing what’s there… to the point where
it can be very bad for us.

Like I just said, we often ARGUE about things
that are OBVIOUS to others… which makes it even
worse.

I need to stop ranting and raving, and land the
plane on this one…

This mechanism is, of course, a survival
mechanism that helps us to weed out all of the
useless information that’s coming in through our
senses at any given time, but it can go overboard
and prevent us from seeing USEFUL information as
well.

Next Point: A lot of our cultural and social
programming is “off-base” to some degree, which
causes us to see things and interpret things
incorrectly when we do see them.

Finally, we humans don’t like to change our
beliefs about things. We don’t like to admit that
we might be wrong in the first place, and we feel
unstable or insecure when we realize that a
fundamental truth we have held all our life is
incorrect.

Lump all of this together, and you have moms
who teach their sons the “proper” way to act and
men who have NO IDEA how to be successful with
women… and then women who REALLY get upset when
you actually start teaching men what WORKS to
attract women (for more evidence of this, just
read some of these newsletters I’m sending you!)

Wow, I’m really going on an unusually
intellectual rant today! Nice. This is making me
feel pretty smart… I think I’ll keep it up…

So, what’s all this information good for?

Well, to start off, I think that it’s important
in life to continually question YOUR OWN beliefs
about how things work and what is possible.

I think it’s also good to constantly question
your LIMITING beliefs.

Unfortunately, most people do the opposite…
they question their ability to succeed and they
doubt their own ability to get what they want.

Most people constantly “self-sabotage”
themselves.

If instead, you question your LIMITATIONS and
your LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly look
with your own eyes to see if there’s something
going on that nobody mentioned to you, then you’ll
begin to see things that will blow your mind.

It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize that
ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE. But as soon as I say
it, you can immediately get what I’m talking
about, and maybe even have a profound realization
that will lead to success.

The phrase “Attraction Isn’t A Choice” makes
you have the “ah ha” that you can’t make a woman
feel attraction for you by CONVINCING her… so
you STOP.

Now, I didn’t figure this out by having someone
TELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning the
things I was hearing, and by following my own
intuition that there was a SOLUTION to this puzzle
called “women and dating”.

So, here’s a “home work” assignment for you:

1 - Write down all of the things that SHOULD work
when it comes to making women feel attracted to
you. This might include buying gifts and food,
giving constant compliments, and acting “nice”.

2 - Write down your own personal experience of
what ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these “socially
correct things that mom taught you” with women.

3 - Pretend for a moment that everything you’ve
been taught about women is wrong. Furthermore,
pretend that women are actually wired in REVERSE.
If this were true, what kinds of things would
result in a woman feeling ATTRACTION for a man?

Does this open up some new possibilities for
you?

I invite you to question “common sense” and
“what your mother taught you” about women.

I also invite you to come and learn some of the
VERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniques
that I’ve learned, developed, refined, and
described in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD
program.

The ideas that I’ve just discussed are part of
what I consider to be the “Inner Game” of dating
success.

Most guys spend almost NO time working on their
Inner Game… instead, they spend time learning
things like “pick up lines” and other almost
USELESS stuff.

If you don’t have your “Inner Game” together,
you’ll never be effective with “techniques and
tricks”.

In my Advanced Dating Techniques program, I
spend several HOURS teaching you one Inner Game
technique after another… showing you how to
overcome fear, improve your self image and self
esteem… and get past limiting beliefs that stop
you from even TRYING to meet women.

If you’re like me, and you’ve had a lot of
negative programming earlier in life, then you
MUST get that stuff handled. It’s not going to
handle itself… YOU have to do it.

Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo

Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site

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Avoid paying to get attention from her

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

Learn the right way do it and try it at free online dating websites

I have friends, who are very good with women,
that take women to NICE dinners all the time. I’m
talking two hundred PLUS dollars for dinner and
drinks ALONE.

I also have friends who almost NEVER take women
out for so much as a cup of coffee… yet they
have more women than they can handle.

Is this possible?

Are the guys who are buying dinner actually
SUCCESSFUL at bribing women with food?

Or do both techniques work?

Well, the interesting thing I’ve found - after
studying this topic for YEARS - is that most guys
who are REALLY GOOD with women have something in
common in this area.

While some may buy expensive dinners for women,
and some may buy nothing, NONE of them use the
idea of paying for things as “bait” or “bribes” or
“obligation”…

In other words, it’s the INTENTION behind the
actions that comes through loud and clear.

My friends that take women on dates to
beautiful restaurants would be GOING THERE ANYWAY,
and they just happen to be taking the woman along
with them.

Or if they open a bottle of expensive wine,
THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.

I also have to mention here that all of the
guys I know in BOTH camps know how ATTRACTION
works, and how to make women feel attracted to
them REGARDLESS of whether or not they pay for
things.

To explain this differently, women INSTANTLY
RECOGNIZE it when they’re dealing with a man who
feels the need to “buy her attention”, and they
usually either play hard to get, or they just
leave.

You can do anything and have it mean anything.

There’s a way to say “You’re beautiful” and
have it mean “You’re not at all attractive”, and
there’s a way to pay for things and NOT have it
say “I’m a needy Wussy who feels the need to buy
you things so you’ll like me”.

Get it?

One of the problems that a lot of guys have is
the real-world issue of money.

It’s expensive to take women out all the time.

It’s expensive to buy flowers and drinks and
gifts.

And if you’re single and dating a lot of women,
it can be out of the question to always be paying
for things.

Well, the good news is that you don’t need to
pay for ANYTHING to be successful with women.

And the other good news is that if you LIKE to
do nice things and go to nice dinners, THERE IS A
WAY to do these things with women and not give off
the “I don’t deserve you, so I’ll pay you for your
attention” vibes.

Think about the following two ways to invite a
woman out to dinner with you:

1) “Can I take you out to dinner on Friday night?”

2) “I’m thinking of going to dinner on Friday at
one of my favorite restaurants, and you should
join me.”

What’s the difference?

The difference is that the first way IMPLIES
that you are TAKING her to dinner.

The second IMPLIES that you’re living your
life, doing your own thing, and being your own
person… and that if she’d like to come along,
she’s welcome.

The second also doesn’t make you sound like a
WUSSY.

So what’s my personal opinion of this whole
topic?

Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to start
off with a woman by PAYING for things.

It’s much better to allow her to like you and
feel ATTRACTION for you without the distraction
and expense.

If you understand how ATTRACTION works, you can
trigger it using your body language and
communication. No money required.

Then, if you want to enjoy dinner or a drink at
one of your favorite places, INVITE HER TO JOIN
YOU. Don’t ask her if you can “take her out”.

This will make a VERY powerful impression.
Trust me.

- THE FLIP SIDE OF THIS COIN…

There is another “dark” side to this whole
conversation.

It’s the idea that men feel OBLIGATED or
INDEBTED to a woman when the woman spends time
with them, gives them attention, etc.

If you’re out with a beautiful woman who
OBVIOUSLY has many men who pursue her, it’s easy
to get into the mind set of “I have to do extra
things, buy her gifts, and go the extra mile to
compete with the other guys”.

Sometimes emotions come up that make you feel
like you want to “show her” how you feel for her
early on… after only knowing her a short while.

OR EVEN WORSE, many guys feel like they OWE A
WOMAN SOMETHING BECAUSE SHE’S GONE OUT WITH THEM
AND/OR HAD SEX WITH THEM. And often, this
“something” is either “dinner and gift payments”
or a RELATIONSHIP.

You must realize that EVEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN IN THE WORLD want MORE than just “payment
for their time”.

Attractive women have dinners, money, and gifts
thrown at them CONSTANTLY. You’re not going to do
ANYTHING to make her more attracted to you by
doing these things.

As you know, I talk a lot about the concept of
ATTRACTION.

ATTRACTION is the powerful sexual emotion that
you feel when you want to be intimately and
romantically involved with someone of the opposite
sex.

Men typically feel it when they see a beautiful
woman.

WOMEN typically feel it when they’re in the
presence of a man who knows how to communicate
with that part of her that triggers her ATTRACTION
“mechanism”.

Most guys either don’t know this, never figure
it out, or don’t pay attention to it.

Instead of learning how women work, and doing
those things that will trigger her ATTRACTION,
they just make the same mistakes and beat their
heads up against the same walls over and over.

And they do things like asking women out to
dinner, buying flowers and TRYING TO PAY for
attention.

It doesn’t have to be this way!

If you’re one of the guys who has been paying
for women’s attention all your life, then do
yourself a favor right now and STOP IT!

Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo

Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site

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Do you need to pay to get her attention

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

It’s the topic of PAYING FOR THINGS FOR WOMEN at free online dating

This includes paying for drinks and dinners,
buying her gifts and taking her out to shows.

The question is: “Should I pay?”

Most guys feel OBLIGATED to pay if they go out
with a woman on a date.

Most guys feel COMPELLED to buy women gifts,
flowers, etc. and “take women out” to “show them a
good time”.

In fact, the “standard” approach for many guys
is simply asking a woman “Can I take you out
sometime?”

Of course, there’s ALWAYS more than meets the
eye when it comes to these kinds of issues, and
this one is no exception.

Take a moment and ask yourself this question:

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE? WHY DO MEN USUALLY
BUY THINGS FOR WOMEN? WHAT’S THE REAL ISSUE?

If you’re willing to be completely open and
honest about it, you’ll realize that most men:

1) Use dinners, flowers, gifts, and other “favors”
as bait and/or payment for women’s time and
attention.

2) Don’t feel deep down like an ATTRACTIVE woman
would want to be with them JUST BECAUSE SHE
ENJOYED THEIR COMPANY and felt ATTRACTION for
them.

3) Have no idea what the ACTUAL affect of trying
to lure women with these kinds of things is.

4) <MOST IMPORTANTLY> DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I can remember when I used to think that I
needed to always take a woman out, buy them
dinner, and pay for whatever I could think of to
get a woman’s attention.

It was really a horrible feeling.

The worst part was that the more nice things I
did for women when I first met them, the more
apprehensive and “standoffish” they seemed to act.

It was almost as if they interpreted my actions
as ME TRYING TOO HARD, and they instinctively
played “hard to get” in response.

The question of “Should I pay for dinner?” is
as old as dirt. So let me answer it with one of my
typical multi-part answers.

And the first part of my answer is going to be
another question to YOU…

WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WOMAN’S DINNER?

And for that matter, why would you buy gifts
and do favors for a woman that you just met and
don’t know?

IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING.

And guess what?

Attractive women are VERY perceptive. They can
usually size a guy up in a matter of SECONDS.

Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo

Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site

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How to use Confidence to attract women

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

ON YOUR SUCCESS STORY AND CONFIDENCE… and use it at Free Online Dating

I think that you’re on the right track here.

When she came to you to tell you that her
parents didn’t approve of you, and you responded
by saying, “I don’t care what your parents think,
I’m not here to please them”, you effectively made
yourself MORE powerful in her heart AND mind than
even her parents.

I’m taking a wild guess here, but I’ll bet that
when she came to you to tell you this, she was
telling you because she was thinking of breaking
off the relationship and this was her way of
“introducing” the idea.

When you responded by saying, “I don’t care
what they think”, you probably scrambled her
signal a little. She was probably confused, but
MORE IMPORTANTLY, she was probably EMOTIONALLY
ATTRACTED to you at the same time.

This combination of confusion, emotional
attraction, and you asserting yourself as more
powerful than her parents because you didn’t care,
is almost unstoppable.

As you say - “Every dating advisor stresses
male confidence”.  The more I’ve thought about
this, the more I realize that the FOUNDATION for
confidence is LACK OF INSECURITY.

In other words, if you want to be confident,
you have to START by getting over the things that
you’re insecure about.  Once you do this, you’ll
realize that “confidence” isn’t really that
important at all.

Women are generally attracted to men who don’t
need APPROVAL from anyone. Call it confidence if
you want. But, I think it comes down to becoming
secure in the world and comfortable in your own
skin.

ON YOUR SUGGESTIONS OF CRITERIA AND EJECTING A
WOMAN AFTER INFIDELITY…

It’s a GREAT idea to be VERY selective and to
let women know about it, EVEN IF SHE’S YOUR
“TYPE”. Women are generally more attracted to men
who are more selective.

Of course, it is important to keep high
standards in life, because they usually lead to
better results in general.

And in response to your recommendation to dump
a woman at the first sign of infidelity…

This is probably a good policy.

But, there’s something else that you should
probably take away from this as well.

If a woman isn’t loyal, there’s a good chance
that either:

1) You did a poor job selecting the type of woman
to have a relationship with in the first place…

…and/or…

2) You stopped doing the things that created the
ATTRACTION in the relationship, and turned into a
WUSSY.

In either case, there’s something to learn and
improve in the future inside of YOURSELF.

YOU must learn how to KEEP HER INTEREST over
the long-haul if you want to “cheat-proof” your
relationship.

…and on another note… I really believe that
there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to
success with women and dating.

The process that creates the magic emotion of
ATTRACTION is mysterious, seemingly illogical, and
“counter intuitive”.  If you don’t understand it,
then it just won’t make sense.

It’s taken me literally YEARS to be able to
both attract women AND be able to explain how to
do it.

Newsletter from David Deangelo.

Check out a new social free dating site

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Confidence is a key to attract women

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

***Free Online DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

A success story with a question and lessons
learned the hard way.

Question:  perhaps you have addressed this before,
but why do women choose unstable “losers” over
stable, “good guys” like me?  One may noticed this
and labeled it the “SPCA” syndrome: “Society for
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.” In other words,
the woman goes for the “stray,” not the “well-
bread.”

I think it goes to the issue of challenge, which
has two aspects.  One is “benign”: the man has to
be a challenge in the sense that he is not too
available. Another, which is negative, is the man
is so “damaged” that he presents a challenge in
another, less benign way: the woman wants to “fix”
him.  I heard Dr. Laura the other day, although I
usually cannot stand her.  Some dimwit woman
called in and said she had been dating guy A, who
was nice, and was now dating A’s friend, B, and
she did not know what to do.  A was a good guy and
stable, B was a lowlife but was “exciting.” Dr.
“Queen of Life” jumped all over her, asking this
genius how she would answer the same question if
her own daughter asked her that question.  It was
clear by the idiot’s “OK” after being given this
advice that she did not get the answer she wanted
and will probably stick with B.

Success story:   Confidence.

1.  Parents and religion.  About 10 years ago, I
was dating a surgeon who was Jewish.  I am not
Jewish, so that made a big difference and was
ultimately one of two factors leading to our
demise (the other was that I could not trust her).
She told me her parents did not approve of me
since I was non-Jewish.  I just told her to her
face, “I don’t care what your parents think.  I’m
not here to please them.”  I think this took her
by surprise and increased her respect for me.

You my want to do columns on these if you have not
done so already:  dealing with parents; dealing
with different religions.

2.  Signs that you are confident.  Every dating
advisor stresses male confidence. Watch the
woman’s actions and listen to her words to detect
if your confidence is “showing” or “hitting.”  The
surgeon gave me two of the greatest compliments I
ever received, which confirmed that I was “doing
things right.”  Both were out of the blue.  One:
“I can’t figure you out.”  Two:  ”I never know
what you are going to do next.”

Suggestions:

1.  Criteria.  Before arranging a blind date, be
sure to the extent possible that you ensure the
woman meets your “criteria.”  DO NOT BE SHY ABOUT
THIS. For example, a friend of mine (I will call
her “A”), working through a friend of hers (”B”),
set me up with a blind date I will call “Carol”. I
drove about 30 minutes to meet the woman. When I
saw her, I immediately knew I did not like her
looks.  The “clincher” occurred as we approached
the hostess, who asked us where we wanted to sit.
“Carol” immediately said something like, “I have
to sit somewhere I can smoke.”  At that point, the
date was effectively over because I am vehemently
nonsmoking. It is simply not negotiable with me.
So, we sat at a table to the side of the
restaurant instead of a waterfront table.

LESSON: neither my friend nor I remembered to
check for smoking. And, while I went ahead and had
the dinner, I lost about an hour’s driving time
and the time and money for the meal with nothing
in return. The experience was a complete waste
except to re- learn the lesson:  ensure the woman
is a nonsmoker.

Another interesting tactic would, after she said
something about smoking, be to say, “I’m sorry.  I
did not realize you were a smoker.  You know,
really, since I do not smoke the evening will be a
waste of your time and mine, so let’s call it
quits.”  And then I should have then simply left.
The problem is that this action would have gotten
me in trouble with my good friend “A.”

2.  Eject after her infidelity.  After you have
been dating a woman and the two of you have been
exclusive, at the first sign of her infidelity,
PUSH EJECT AND DUMP HERE.  Infidelity is an
irreparable breach of trust and cannot be
repaired. I tried to fix a relationship after such
an incident, and she continued to remain in touch
with her “secondary lover.”  Despite advice to
dump her and her continuing affection toward me, I
held on for a few more months, which were
miserable, before finally pushing EJECT and
unilaterally dumping her with no warning or
discussion.  The lesson is: pay attention to what
women DO, not to what they SAY.

C. J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, thank you for taking the time to
think this through and for clearly communicating
the points you’ve made. You’ve brought up some
important ideas, and I’d like to comment on them.

ON THE DR. LAURA STORY AND YOUR QUESTION…

One of the things that Dr. Laura doesn’t get in
this particular situation goes a little something
like this:

THE WOMAN IN THE STORY WASN’T USING LOGIC TO
DECIDE WHICH MAN TO FEEL ATTRACTED TO, SO TRYING
TO CONVINCE HER WITH LOGIC IS A WASTE OF TIME.

Now, you made some valid points about the woman
enjoying the “challenge” of the “stray” and/or of
the “unavailable” guy.

This is good stuff, and it’s accurate.

But, the REAL key to this situation is that
ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE. Attraction is a
POWERFUL EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response.

And, as you might know, when you’re feeling a
powerful emotion, it’s difficult, or in many
cases, almost impossible to override that emotion
with LOGIC.

The woman is clearly ATTRACTED to the
“lowlife”, but she also knows in her MIND that she
“should” stay with the “stable nice guy”.

EMOTION beats LOGIC any day of the week when it
comes to attraction and female behavior.

Being a challenge and being unavailable are
things that TRIGGER the emotion, but once it’s
triggered then there’s not much that a woman can
do about it.

And as you noticed, not even advice from the
“first lady” of relationship logic can change it.

So to answer your question, the reason why
women “choose” unstable losers over stable guys
like you is…

THEY DON’T CHOOSE AT ALL.

There is no logical “decision” being made. When
it comes to ATTRACTION, “choosing” doesn’t even
come into play.

If you want women to feel that powerful emotion
called ATTRACTION for you, then you need to learn
how to communicate and behave in the way that
TRIGGERS ATTRACTION.

Newsletter Article by David Deaneglo

Check out Free Dating

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Selecting a Online Dating site Part2

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Part 2 Of selecting a online dating site ….

6.

Of the websites you have listed, which offer you the most amount of options in the dating criteria important to you? Many of the larger sites provide you with a wealth of options to choose from when both posting your profile and searching for someone - which offer the most that suit your needs? Put these at the top of your list. Any that are too expensive, don’t have a lot of people in your geographic area, or offer few matching options should be removed completely.
7.

Choose some of your top dating sites - the amount is up to you but try for less than ten. Take advantage of their free sign up (every single dating site offers free signups; it’s contacting people that costs money). Search the other members, take a peek at the features, and smile at a couple of interesting singles. See how the interface works, and whether or not the quality, and quantity of singles in your area is acceptable.
8.

After a week or so, you’ll notice that you spend more time at one or two sites. Maybe they are easier to use, pleasing to the eye, quick with response times, have a plethora of singles to choose from, or offer many of the features you need. Whatever the reason, you’ll know within the week which sites to invest more time into.
9.

What if none of your top ten take your fancy? It’s back to the original list of dating sites you compiled in step five. Don’t worry - you’ll find exactly what you need and want. It just takes some of us a bit longer than others.

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Some tips to approach women

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Approaching Women Tip 1 while dating. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.

“Make your comment immediate to the situation”

Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.

Approaching Women Tip 2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction — a requirement for building rapport.

Approaching Women Tip 3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident — an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

Approaching Women Tip 4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.

Approaching Women Tip 5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.

Approaching Women Tip 6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.

Approaching Women Tip 7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.

Approaching Women Tip 8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.

Approaching Women Tip 9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like ”

“I hope you saved some turkey for me”

I hope you saved some turkey for me,” followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends — notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.

Approaching Women Tip 10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.

The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power.

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Love

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.[1] The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

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Free dating websites

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Free online dating websites are a rather new idea in the online dating market.

The business model for most free dating websites is simple, if the website is free, the more hits you get, the more advertising revenue you get. Most make use of tools such as Google Adsense and other such paid per click advertising methods. Every time a visitor clicks on an advert, it generates revenue. For smaller sites this may seem minuscule, but for sites like PlentyofFish with over 45 million visitors each month, the income potential is rather substantial.

There are other online dating services that claim to offer free registration and search, these don’t fall under the free online dating service guidelines as they charge for you to be able to communicate. True free online dating services offer communication for free and generate their revenue solely off such things as Google Adsense.

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Online chat dating

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Online chat can refer to any kind of communication over the Internet, but is primarily meant to refer to direct one-on-one chat or text-based group chat (formally also known as synchronous conferencing), using tools such as instant messaging for dating site, application - omputer programs, Internet Relay Chat, talkers and possibly MUDs, MUCKs, MUSHes and MOOes. The expression online chat comes from the word chat which means “informal conversation”.

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drawbacks mobile dating

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Some avoid these mobile dating services for fear that the technology could be used to electronically harass users.[3]Another issue is “asymmetry of interests”, i.e. attractive member receives excessive attentions and leaves, which may result in deterioration of membership[4]. The pictures are very small and cell phones are still a step behind computers in their ease to use.

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Mobile dating

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Mobile dating services, also known as cell dating, cellular dating,or cell phone dating, allow individuals to chat, meet, and possibly become romantically involved by means of text messaging, mobile chatting, and the web.

These services allow their users to provide information about themselves in a short profile which is stored in their phones as a dating ID. They can then search for other IDs online or by calling a certain phone number dictated by the service. The criteria include age, gender and sexual preference. Usually these sites are free to use but standard text messaging fees may still apply as well as a small fee the dating service charges per message.

Mobile dating websites, in order to increase the opportunities for meeting, focus attention on users that share the same social network and proximity. Some companies even offer services such as homing devices to alert users when another user is within thirty feet of one another.[1] Some systems involve bluetooth technology to connect users in locations such as bars and clubs. This is known as proximity dating. These systems are actually more popular in some countries in Europe and Asia than online dating. With the advent of GPS Phones and GSM localization the proximity dating will rise sharply.

According to The San Francisco Chronicle in 2005, “Mobile dating is the next big leap in online socializing.”[1] More than 3.6 million cell phone users logged into mobile dating sites in March 2007, [2] with most users falling in the under 35 age range.

Some experts believe that the rise in mobile dating is due to the growing popularity of online dating. Analyst Brent Iadarola of Frost & Sullivan said, “I think people are more comfortable with online dating, and it’s generally been accepted, the comfort people have with online dating in the wired world is now translating to the mobile world.”[1] Others believe it is all about choice, as Joe Brennan Jr., vice president of Webdate says, “It’s about giving people a choice. They don’t have to date on their computer. They can date on their handset, it’s all about letting people decide what path is best for them.”[1]

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online dating scams

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Online dating scams and fraud are almost as old as Internet dating itself. Often called a Sweetheart Swindle this is often a long, drawn out process in which the con artist develops a relationship, and eventually convinces the victim to send money. The scammer often meets the victim in chat rooms or via online dating sites. Their object is not to get into their hearts, but get into their wallets. They will try to earn someone’s affections and trust so that they can persuade him/her to send money. The requests for money can either be a one time event or repeated over an extended period of time. The details of the scammers’ stories will vary with each case. The scenario commonly revolves around a tragedy having befallen the scammer, and he/she desperately needs money. After spending time communicating and building a relationship with the victim, the scammer will ask for help in the form of money. Most online dating services have a hard time dealing with scammers, outside of issuing warnings to their users to be alert for anyone you’ve never met asking for money.

Some potential indicators you may be dealing with a dating scam:

   * The online sweetie says, “I love you” almost immediately.
   * The person asks for money, to cash a check or money order.
   * The person claims to be a U.S. citizen who is abroad, or claims to be well off, or a person of importance.
   * The person claims to be a contractor, and needs help with a business deal.
   * The Person claims to need money for a parent's "operation in the hospital"

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Online group dating

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

According to an Article in USA today:

“Group online dating, its creators and practitioners say, is safer than traditional Internet dating: With friends in tow, there’s little fear that a date will spike your drink during a trip to the bathroom. It’s more natural, akin to happy-hour mixing. Going out in groups improves your odds, at least in theory. And if the opposing social circle doesn’t live up to its virtual profile, well, it’s a night out with your gang.” [2]

According to a San Diego Union-Tribune article:

“[The Concept] is part of a growing trend in the lucrative online dating market – harnessing the power of friends. Several sites are tapping into the idea that most real-world relationships begin, like it or not, with the help and influence of friends and family.”

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Group dating

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Group Dating is most popular in Japan where it is called “compa” or “gokon.” It has become so popular because many Japanese find it difficulty to find a parter. Group dating can also be found in many other countries, however, compa is very ritualized and unique. Generally, a single guy and girl who know each other organize the compa in advance, each agreeing to bring 3 or 4 eligible friends. The venue is usually a restaurant, izakaya, or anywhere people can eat, drink and make a bit of noise. [1]

The expression “compa” comes from the English “companions”, and “gokon” is simply a combination of “goudo” (“group”) with compa. Both terms are commonly used and their meaning is basically the same.

Generally speaking, compa isn’t for finding one night stands (at least not openly - that’s more associated with nampa), but for making friends and possibly forming long-term relationships. However, there is still a stigma attached to attending a “dating party”, and someone going to a compa might tell coworkers or other friends they are going to a regular drinking party.

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