Believe it or not, the changes that society, sexuality, entertainment, and
technology have engendered in the dating scene can be distilled into a
single concept: the need for speed!
Admittedly, human beings, when it comes to love, have always been
impatient — even though Diana Ross, or at least her momma, said, “You can’t
hurry love, you just have to wait!” People are under more pressures now to
race dating at the speed of light when instead they should be taking very
small baby steps, exercising due diligence, and noticing in minute detail
what’s going on. I know that the temptation is to close your eyes and just go
for it. Falling makes it seem much more fun, scary, exciting, and fast, but it’s
not very productive if you’re looking for more than just cheap thrills.
I sort of invented speed dating, accidentally, when I first had a TV show in
2000. Speed dating, as it has evolved, usually gives participants six or seven
minutes with each potential date, but I gave them three minutes to convince
somebody to go out with them, though I was there to offer encouragement or
redirect the Burger King philosophy of life: Quick, hot, juicy, and your way
work in some places, just not in dating! The need for speed is triggered by
two equal and opposite tendencies: Ironically, couples are marrying earlier
(obvious sexual urgency) and later (increasing fertility concerns), with women
feeling that if they wait any longer they won’t have the option of raising children
of their own.