In addition to the census, demographic data, and the changing realities, television
shows in the 21st century have significantly changed the dating landscape
since popular notions perpetuated by the media, while originally fantasy, have
a strange habit of morphing into our shared reality. Dating shows have always
been a part of the TV landscape, but the bar has been raised, or lowered,
depending on how you look at it. In addition to the traditional plethora of inane
dating shows, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?, Who Wants to Marry My Dad?,
The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and My Big, Fat, Ugly Fiancé have not only made
dating a blood sport but convinced the viewing public that hot tubs and serial
necking in front of a TV camera are normal aspects of dating. Online Dating as a competitive sport — complete with
body contact and backbiting — has cheapened, degraded, and sexualized
dating as well as increased hostility in ways we’re not even completely aware of.
Okay, so most of us probably look at television dating shows and say, “That’s
ridiculous!” We know that a lot of editing and prompting goes on. But we are
all influenced, subtly and not so subtly, by these shows in how we date, how
we view the opposite sex, our own behavior, and what’s acceptable and what’s
not. Reality TV has made competition, mean spiritedness, and just plain nastiness
part of the social landscape between men and women, making the war
between the sexes appear as a bombed-out landscape with few survivors and
multiple casualties. Chapters 13 and 14 may make you believe in civilization,
manners, and survival as possible goals in dating for yourself and others.
Adding to the general confusion is the fact that so many television shows suggest
that being gay is not only acceptable but hip and nearly ubiquitous, which
has certainly increased the potential for at least considering yourself bisexual,
or even more terrifying, having your partner consider him or herself bisexual.
Thus dating has become a question of will or won’t your date come out of the
closet after you get to know each other. Interestingly enough, the statistics on
the percentage of the population reported and reporting as gay is unchanged
since Alfred Kinsey’s studies 60 years ago.