At first glance, it would seem easy to know when a date is over. The empty
dishes have been cleared off your table, the check is paid, the theater lights
are up, or the sun has risen. There are definitely markers. But dating is an
emotional event. What’s an empty restaurant and five glaring waiters when
this could be true love? Plus, if things are going well, you’re also battling your
biology.
When you’re in the throes of infatuation, a chemical in your brain called
phenylethylamine (PEA) causes those tingly feelings of euphoria. Other neurochemicals,
namely norepinephrine and dopamine, may also play a part in
your “lover’s high.” These natural “uppers” are what cause lovers to stay
awake all night gazing into each other’s eyes or talking into the wee hours of
the morning. Sadly, or perhaps thankfully, this chemically induced elation
fades. Your brain can’t stay in a revved-up state forever!
Pacing yourself may seem like a waste of time if you and your date have
clicked from the start. But in the long run, it’s always better to leave them
wanting more than feeling like it was just this side of too much. Assuming
your date has gone well, you want the
end of your first date to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, not the
grand finale of one memorable night. Especially when you met this person at an online dating site, like DatingIdol.com. Now its time for me starting write some notes, lol.
Archive for the ‘dating tips’ Category
Ending the Date Gracefully
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008Writing High-Quality Dating Profiles-part3
Friday, October 24th, 2008A picture says a thousand words
Clip a photo that’s realistic and not misleading. There are all sorts of pictures that
people post on the web which are quite dishonest, a bit obscene, of poor quality,
and sometimes too formal. The best photo should reveal the normal “you”, since, if
you are dead set on meeting someone you don’t want her to get the shock of her life.
Some photos are lewd and show too much skin just to catch attention. If you are
seriously into online dating site, post a clear, sunny picture of yourself - this is sure to elicit
positive responses from people. Don’t glamorize yourself or post a picture of you
wearing a high school toga.
Polish your profile
Choose the right words and use your grammar or spelling program to polish your
profile. People care about your spelling and grammar because it reflects your
education. At least, show some decency when creating your profile, “The difference
between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between
lightning and a lightning bug,” says Mark Twain. If you’ve written your profile in a
hurry, don’t attempt to post it yet when you have not proofread it for grammatical
and spelling errors. Use your handy word processor programs to clean it for possible
mistakes.
Research the competition
This is what we call the “look, listen, and learn” step. Go ahead and search for
yourself after you’ve published your ad. If you see yourself in the page of search
results and your existing ad doesn’t “jump” off the page at you as a reader – consider
revising your ad to play off the surrounding.
For example, you search for your ad only to find that you’re surrounded mostly by
guys using cheesy one-liners and looking for something to screw in between football
games you might modify your ad title/introduction to say something like;
“Waiter, I ordered my pickup lines without cheese”
“While they’re watching football, we can watch a movie”
Be original but don’t overdo it.
Your originality is a major factor for an attractive profile. Search yourself for any
unusual interests and unique characteristics. If you like art, for instance, mention
specifically if you’ve ever painted or done some digital designing yourself, and what
kind of design software you like to use. A good novel writer does not use bland
adjectives and describe in nebulous concepts. You’re not a novel writer but your goal
is to make your online profile more interesting. All of us have normal ways of doing
things but if you got something to tell - a passion for exotic animals, or a collection
of snow gears - don’t hesitate to include it in your profile.
Writing High-Quality Dating Profiles-part2
Friday, October 24th, 2008The introduction is your own personal summary
Your introduction should be just as attractive. When you compose your introduction
line it must be intriguing enough to compel your reader to continue on. Generally
you’re limited on the size of your introduction to anywhere from a few hundred
words up to 1,000. Make this count and keep it pretty much to the point.
Avoid clichés like the plague
Don’t bother with clichés and other trite phrases. Being unoriginal and typecast may
work for bands like Nickleback but it won’t get you laid - avoid the usual titles at all
costs. The secret is to be as specific as possible: name a strange incident or
experience, an eerie quote from your favorite author, or a bit of a background that
would define who you are. I personally find it best to write a draft first then revise
it, which brings us to the next topic…
Some common clichés that you see all the time:
Love is a many splendored thing.
It sure is, but this cliché is used so often that no “love” will come from it.
All things grow with love.
Again, same situation. It sounds great but is so overused that it will not garnish any
attention.
Make it count, condense your draft.
No one wants to read a wordy profile that conveys no message. Many free online dating site profiles
suffer in the dark oblivion without hope of getting looked at because they fail to
relate anything interesting about the author to the person reading. You might be the
most romantic, handsome, charismatic guy in the world but you’re online appearance
is that of a 14 year old who can’t spell or form complete sentences. Put some time
into the “flow” of your summary. Make it count, it’s the second most important part
of your online profile.
Writing High-Quality Dating Profiles-part1
Friday, October 24th, 2008Not all people are blessed with the knack of writing an excellent dating profile.
Doing it is a lot like composing an ad that is meant to attract potential buyers - it has
to be convincing, appealing and honest (to a degree). If it’s your first time to design
your own dating profile, here are the nuts and bolts to guide you.
Just a little note to the ladies: Most of the examples I use are for men. Women tend
not to have problems getting responses from guys inside online dating sites (guys usually
blast out messages to just about anyone, women are more specific). If you need
advice on writing a good female ad many of these rules still apply, so fear not and
keep reading.
Titles are the most important part of an ad
Use a catchy and interesting title. Since everyone is going to read your profile, you
should make it as original, honest and easy to remember as possible. Get your ideas
from your own interests , experiences, and personality but don’t just say you’re
spontaneous and exciting – prove it! Above all - you’ve got to be unique (very, very
unique)
Examples of good and bad titles:
Fun guy looking for fun girl.
Too general, no one looks for dull girls – an no fun girls look through dull profiles.
Let me show you what a real man is like.
Immediately after which they’ll show you the ‘block user button’ this is way to
intimidating and challenging to a mate.
Will you guide my way?
Approaching “decent” level profile title. It definitely stands out from the others but
most women are looking for a package with all it’s nuts and bolts – no assembly
required if you know what I mean.
LOST: True love, reward if found.
Bingo, though it’s pretty general the title is definitely unique and will get the reader
past the initial first click. The introduction should reflect a caring, compassionate,
and romantic person just like the title indicates.
Skydiving accountant seeking rock-climbing business woman
Another good one liner. The activity describes the person so much more than just an
adjective like “exciting” or “adventurous” could.
dating insecurities
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008He’s one of many. If he’s chasing you, he knows he’s not alone. And because men are so competitive, that thought drives him nuts. One tip: Don’t tell him you’re all his, but put his mind at ease by asking questions about his life.
You might still reject him. During those first few dates, a guy is watching like a hawk for clues that you’re not going to give him the slip. So if you want to reassure him that you’re interested enough to stick around (at least for now!), offer up small gestures, like extended eye contact or a gentle touch of his hand when you’re talking.
He doesn’t measure up…to you. Guys are being outpaced by women in college and on the job, so it’s important for a dude to prove he’s as accomplished as you are. But he’ll only boast if he likes you, so don’t squash his ego like a bug.
He’s taking it too slow. Fact is, he’s torn: He knows he should take it slow, but he doesn’t want you to think he’s a wuss either. So if you want to green-light the physical side of the relationship, encourage him…you’ll think of something.
communicating with women
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008One of the most exciting, sweet, hot, wonderful things in the world is getting to know someone new. Making that first physical contact through little touches on the arm, or back or hair. Moving on to bodies pressed together in a slow dance, or sitting close while reading a menu in a restaurant or a book in a library, or huddled in a doorway to escape the cold, or any of a hundred other ways you can find to make close contact with someone you desire.
Then there’s moving on to more intimate exploration. And we all miss some wonderful opportunities for that because men and women don’t know how to communicate while dating especially if they met through online dating site . Let’s break down some of those barriers. You can look at it as trying to make the world a more wonderful place in which to live. You can look at it as a road to better health. However you look at, just take a little time to work on communicating with women.
Conversation the key to successfull dating
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008How can such a simple thing as striking up a conversation be so hard? Because we make it harder than it has to be, that’s how. Most things aren’t as difficult as we imagine they are, and few things are truly impossible. That applies to most things in life, and it certainly applies to talking to women.
If you’re reading this, then you probably already are the one thing women want most – a man! Don’t be fooled into thinking women are overly picky just because you’ve heard them talk about some gorgeous, rich celebrity they think is sexy. Don’t compare yourself to some fantasy and think you pale by comparison.
Because that’s what the celebrity is – a fantasy. He’s a man most women will never meet, someone who will never ask them out for a drink, never hold them close in his arms for a slow, sexy dance – or a night of smoldering, hot passion. You, however, can do all of those things.
What us women need, and want, is a real man, one we can meet in real life. What we want is you. If you approach us the right way, that is. Handle us right and we’re more than happy to be your every fantasy. What men forget is that women have fantasies, too. If you make us feel fascinating, desirable and beautiful, then you just satisfied some of our biggest needs. And believe me, once you satisfy our needs, we’ll satisfy yours.
Why would I reveal all this to men before dating, tell you how to talk your way into a woman’s heart – and bed? Because too many times I’ve been attracted to men that I didn’t know were also attracted to me. Later, after the sparks of interest had died, I’d learn the things they had been doing were their way of showing interest. But they never said the right thing, never came right out and let me know their interest was far more than friendly. And they never seemed to pick up the signals I was trying to send. So we both ended up frustrated. I’m tired of being frustrated, guys. Most women are. If you want us, let us know. Don’t waste time. Don’t let a spark of attraction go cold when it could easily be fanned into a flame.
Possiblilities versus gurantees in dating world
Monday, August 25th, 2008What if you get through the first three dates and there are no red flags? Does that mean you can now breathe a deep sign of relief and sail into the sunset knowing that your relationship is set of life? Certainly not. Relationships like anything else that holds the potential for great fulfillment in life, require constant vigilance on our parts: to nice and address issues, resolve differences, nurture intimacy and promote the welfare of both people.
The fact that a potential relationship holds great possibility doesn’t in any way mean that you have a guarantee of success. Even after a successful courtship and the wedding day have passed, its dangerous to rest on the assumption that everything will be okay.
The purpose of the first three dates with someone you met at free dating site is to do the best you can to spot insurmountable red flags, problems that even if addressed , cant be resolved; issues that undermine the very foundation of a potential relationship and which indicate that its best to move on. If you can successfully do this, you will save yourself agonies by the score and you will move yourself more quickly along the path to the right relationship.
Body language and other signals
Wednesday, August 13th, 2008Besides conversation, there are other ways of letting people know that we are interested. Eye contact and body language somtimes speak far louder than the words coming out of our mouths. The stud of Neuro Linguistic programming shows us how to establish rapport simply by mirroring anothers stance. If you tilt your head to one side and smile and I tilt my head the same way and smile, we feel a certain connection. If you want to add body lanugage to your repertoire of rapport building skills, there are numerous books on NLP that you can find at your library. The danger however might be relying on the use of this or any other rapport building skill strictly as a way of disarming other people rather than learning to be more honest and self-disclosing yourself.
If you have learned some tricks on how to use body language as a powerful when dating, then check out singles and personals at the free online dating site to meet someone and try your experiments.
do you hate to be left alone
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008If you are the type who hates to be left alone by your partner, then we should leave before discovering that you even asked this question. If you put so much value for a quiz dates that you are willing to discontinue a relationship because someone “failed”, then probably you are not yet ready for dating.
You see, a dating game is written for entertainment purposes only. I am not trying to be sexist here, but it is usually written for girls and young woman, and are designed to smooth the natural your insecurities. It is biased towards a realistic view of what the perfect partner is the ideal partner does not exist.
I remember a dating quiz asked if my girlfriend came over to unlock the driver’s door after me the door to the passenger. If I answered “yes” then I will make a perfect woman. If I answered “No” then we should run away!
Come on, get real. If all that is needed to be a perfect woman would never be any divorces.
My point, with the risk of repeating myself, is that online dating quiz should not be taken seriously. In fact, there is a good possibility that should not be taken at all. The common sense knows whether or not someone you are dating is good or bad for you. We need some overworked writer, working against a deadline to fill some white space in a magazine or a website, to tell you whether or not you have a landfill on the basis of your answers in a quiz free dating. If you are not someone worth dating, it is.
guide for dating
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008So many of us were to believe that pain is normal, even expected, in a loving relationship. Without him, the relationship seems flat, boring. We crave drama. (Why is that so many women a great sex after a fight with a significant other?)
A happy, loving relationship eludes us because we do not recognize when we see it, or simply because we believe that it is not possible to find free dating site (News Flash: According to a recent Today Show, all men. All of them, I was not aware that men have the monopoly of lies or misconduct of others. I know that some women, are impressive liars. No?).
According to the media, men are not able to remember birthdays, as monogamous, getting through a weekend, unless they are transfixed in front of a marathon of football matches. The women internalize these messages: It’s the only way to men. That’s the way life is. Get over it.
And while the media is happy to sell us the myth of the happy relationship unattainable, some of us have to believe it is in our own experiences.
Some of us:
(a) that parents have tried every other issue, (b) parents who had hated each other directly, (c) parents who had ignored us as children, (d) had a father who suffered from alcoholism, (e) had mothers, it would be preferable to do otherwise, or (f) had a father who suffered from a mental illness.
And we have learned to associate love with pain. That’s all we knew.
Others among us grew up in homes with parents being perfectly happy with each other and looking forward, but still managed to:
(a) Internalize negative news we have heard from our friends of the parents were married unfortunately, or
(b) Internalize negative news we saw in other places (I know, a woman, during their impressionable teenage years, babysat for a couple who gave each other the silent treatment and hoped his message. babysat for which another family where the father once came home and started reading the beginning of a porn magazine).
As a result of this programming, we low bars for the behavior of accept that husbands or friends. Hey, is better than alone, right?
Wrong.
If compared with substandard behavior of men, the decision to stop. Refuse to date someone you win a man who makes your happiness a priority. Trust me, how a man comes into their lives and stay there.
Treat him as you would expect to treat you, which means with affection, respect and consideration. Does this sound boring to you? If not find someone at a free online dating site. If so, please check your feelings about relationships and see if they have not determined the type of men who win.
You see, once you stop are men, but that he defrauded excite, can accommodate a guy loves you as you deserve to be loved - and excites you. The love and enthusiasm are important, but if they are accompanied by pain, what is wrong. You never really happy with a guy, you can then.
Ask yourself: “Where I never the idea that love has to hurt?”
Take time for replies. An inventory, if your relationship is worth saving. When you speak, is to make a difference? If not, you are ready to accommodate a man who I love you and make you laugh rather than mourn for a change?
attraction towards women
Sunday, July 20th, 2008***QUESTION***
Hi,
I got a quick Q. You mentioned quite a bit that
its good to be honest with a new woman you met
that you want/are dating other women at the same
time. At what point in getting to know a woman
should you say this? ie. before or after the first
kissing/sex etc. And secondly, how should you go
about saying this honestly to a woman? This woman
I’m seeing now made it clear that she wanted
exclusivity from the start (pretty much after the
first few kissing sessions) and saying that she’s
not that “type of woman you can find on the
street”. Any ideas? Thanks. T Prague P.S. I
hooked up with this woman thanks to the
cocky/funny routine you teach. My last
relationship I had been in was over… *cringe*…
4 years ago and it left me in WUSS mode.
Ironically, I remember getting myself that
girlfriend using C/F as well, but didn’t realize
it until I thought about it very recently. Thanks
again man.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a great question.
The first thing you need to do is decide what
YOU want for YOURSELF.
If you want to date other women, then do it.
If you want to be exclusive, then do it.
But make sure you’re making the decision based
on what YOU want for your life.
Second, if you want to date more than one woman
at a time, and the woman you’re dating says “I
want to be exclusive” with you, then you need to
accept that she might leave if you date other
women. Deal with it.
Too many guys in your situation would cringe
and say “Oh, but I can’t lose this girl. I’ll do
whatever she wants…” etc.
This is a bad move, of course. When you decide
to put aside what you want for your life because
you’re trying to please someone else, trouble
usually isn’t far down the road.
If I were you, and I wanted to date other
women, I’d say…
“I think that it’s a big mistake for two people
to get into a relationship so fast. Most
relationships that end badly end because the
people got involved too quickly, and because they
didn’t know each other at all. I like spending
time with you, but I’m not even interested in
talking about having an exclusive relationship
with you until I’ve known you longer.”
Be strong. It’s worth it.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
To make a long story short, I just got out of a 1
year relationship about a week ago and almost
completely forgot how it was done and lost almost
all my game. I’m a pretty good looking guy and
never really had trouble getting dates. Anyways
I’ve been getting your newsletters for quite a
while, but being in a long term relationship I
never got a chance to test them out until
recently… but Damn! you hit it right on the
money! In no time at all I was back in the game
getting 2 #’s and an email address in 1 day from
trying your techniques, and these are girls that
even I couldn’t get before, becuz I admit I was a
wussbag to girls I was really interested in. But
not anymore! I made up a pretty good c/f routine
when i noticed this really hott girl’s hair all
done up, check it out…
Me: Hey are you going to a Rave? Girl: No…. why?
Me: Because you got this crazy Rave chick do goin
on (pointing at her hair) Girl: Oh what you don’t
like my hair? Me: Well, I guess it’d be pretty
cool if you were going to a Party or something
but i wouldn’t go out in public like that…
(with a serious face)
So then she laughed and asked me what my name was
and I stole the 4′ without the shoes thing also
and got her email and to this point we’re still
getting to know each other but things are looking
way up! Dave, thank you!!!! (almost forgot to
say… she’s a 9)
Thanks again KJ in GA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice.
You realize that there are going to be men all
over the world this week walking up to attractive
women with “big hair” and asking if they’re going
to raves… right?
This is a WONDERFUL example of how to be Cocky
and Funny.
Welcome back, and I hope you enjoy being single
more this time!
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I’ve had great success since reading the ebook and
newsletters. This summer, I was practicing c and
f on a lesbian just for fun, no expectations… a
couple days later she jumped me! Powerful stuff.
My question. I work in the library at a
University. I’m a cashier where people pay their
library fines. I talk to dozens of women a day,
since they have to pay their fines to register for
classes. Captive audience! What a great
opportunity for getting emails and phone numbers,
huh? Unfortunately, I’ve got 3 bosses in cubicles
near by within earshot of the counter. I’m
cocky/funny with all the cute girls I meet, but I
hesitate to ask for email addresses, afraid that
it would piss off my bosses. Any ideas on how to
ask for email addresses non-verbally, or in way
that wouldn’t be obvious to overhearers? I’m
stumped.
Thanks, S
Edmonds, WA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, can I tell you how much I LOVE IT when guys
write me to tell me that they’ve converted
LESBIANS back to the “light” side? You are the
man.
Oh, how I would love to have your job!
Do you remember the guy who wrote in a few
months back with the “survey” idea?
Try this…
After you’ve been flirting with a girl, say
“Here, take this real quick…”
Then, take a piece of paper (or have one
ready), and at the top write “SURVEY” in big
letters.
Under that write:
1. First Name
2. Email Address
3. Phone Number
…try that. I’ll bet it will kick ass.
Oh, and I hate you.
***QUESTION***
First of all, props to you Dave and the great
ebook. “Double Your Dating” is definitely the best
title for your book, because I did just that. But
there’s a problem… I need to know how to hook up
with a lady friend of mine. We’ve been friends for
about 2 years, and we’re close friends. That’s the
first mistake, yes, I know once the “friendship
line” is crossed its hard to go back. We flirt a
lot, and play fight and all that “cute” sh*t.
She’s about an 8.0 and lately i’ve been getting
these “urges” (i want to sleep with her)… So
basically, I need to know how to get her to jump
back to the other side of the “friendship line”
again. I’ve been doing the C/F routine for a
while, she gets a kick out of it, and it always
brings a laugh and a long lasting smile to her
face. I’m constantly unpredictable, always
changing. Once she thinks she has me figured out,
I switch it up again. Also, when she acts like
she’s really mad at me, I ignore her and let her
have her little temper tantrum. I just simply walk
away from her, and she hates it! She’s always
saying “I HATE IT WHEN YOU NEVER GIVE IN!” and
thats how I know i’m doing a good job lol. So, to
sum things up, the stuff from your book worked on
her. She told me she thinks about me a lot more,
and she even thought about kissing me. But she
said it’d be “too weird” for us to be together
since we’re such “good friends”. Dave, is there
something I can say to her to change her mind? Or
should i use some techniques that aren’t in the
book? Please help me Dave… Please oh please oh
please.
P.S. Please please please
W from Jersey
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, NEVER say “please oh please
oh please” again to me, lest I consider you to be
the WUSS OF ALL WUSSBAGS.
And never write “P.S. Please please please”.
I’m shaking my head right now.
You’re on the right track with the girl, by the
way.
Next time she says something like “I’ve thought
about kissing you” say “You’re probably not that
good of a kisser anyway” and change the subject.
Then tease her about it later.
This sets up a challenge in her mind, and it
will work wonders, if done correctly.
Finally, say “Come here” and tell her to close
her eyes.
Lean in really close, like you’re going to kiss
her, and she can feel your lips just touching
hers… then lean back and say “never mind”, I
still bet that you don’t know how to kiss.
Get it?
After you do this three or four time, lead into
smelling her neck as I describe in the bonus
booklet called “Sex Secrets” that came with Double
Your Dating. That should do it for you.
***COMMENT***
Sometimes I try to pick up women off the street
(no, not hookers) whether I’m riding my sickle or
driving my car. I found out long ago not to ask
them if they want a ride. If I’m on the bike, I
say only, “Get on!”. If I’m in a car, I say “Get
in!” More often than not, they don’t say a word
and just get on or get in. And I’m not incredibly
tall and goodlooking, nor riding a Harley, or
driving some hip car. I’ve had women in business
dress (usually with fuller skirts), wearing heels
and carrying brief cases practically leap onto the
back of the bike.
Once a bunch of us were shooting the breeze about
some of the nastier women we’ve had and one of the
youngest in the group said, “How do you find women
like these?” To the rest of the group’s approval,
I said, “You don’t find them. You make them.”
KM Fort Worth, Texas
This article is from David Deangelo Newsletter and have been submitted by the architect of free online dating site, know as Dating Idol
attraction to quality women
Sunday, July 20th, 2008***QUESTION***
Masta D,
I give credit when credit is due, I want to thank
you for solving a whole lot of the puzzle for me,
and for spending several hours on these
newsletters.
After a year of learning and practicing your stuff
I am finding just how powerful it actually is.
Your last newsletter of conversation topics was a
big help, and the ‘just friends’ thing is a real
killer. Dave, i have a quick question- This
beautiful women asks me “Will I ever have a chance
with you?” I’m proud of that and all, but in order
to amplify the attraction would I simply say
“no”…or how would you answer it differently?
Thanks man I’ll get your audio series soon, D from
CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
“Masta D”, huh?
I kind of like the sounds of it. Maybe I should
quit this whole biz, and go into producing rap.
I’ll think about it.
As for your situation, I have ideas.
What you have is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what
usually happens. Most GUYS are thinking “I don’t
have a chance with this girl” etc.
When a woman asks a question like this, it
means that she’s feeling VERY insecure, because
she knows that she’s dealing with a man who has
OPTIONS.
She “gets it” that you can go out and meet
women any time you want, and she’s exposing this
insecurity to you by asking questions like this.
If I were you, I’d answer:
“Well, let me think about it” or “A chance to
do what?” or “What are you willing to offer in
exchange?”… in a COCKY & FUNNY tone of voice.
When a woman asks you a serious question like
this in a needy tone of voice, you need to kind of
diffuse the situation, but keep the energy going.
When you answer with a confusing, funny,
arrogant answer, it takes the negative tension out
of the air (because you used humor), and it adds
some positive tension (because you hinted that she
does).
This is a great opportunity to use your Cocky &
Funny material, so do it!
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I know you’ve heard this before, but you really
are a genius. I am a 35yo physician with good
looks and muscular built, but had the worst luck
with women. After medical school, I thought I
would have no problem with women because I was a
doctor. WRONG!! I was a WUSS!!
After reading your ebook, I only wished I knew
this stuff 15yrs ago. This information is
priceless, I would have paid thousands of dollars
for this. The cost is truly a steal. Many, many,
many thanks. Question: Do you think it’s wise to
use these techniques on women at work?
P.F. Chattanooga, TN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for the compliments. I get a lot of
email from guys who are athletes, bodybuilders,
naturally handsome, etc. that say the same
things… if you don’t have the right attitude,
understanding, and skills, then the looks alone
are almost useless.
And on the other hand, if you have the
attitude, understanding, and skills, then looks
aren’t even that important…
I’m glad you’re having the success you’ve
always wanted. It’s a great feeling, isn’t it?
As for your question, I personally think that
women you work with are great to PRACTICE on, but
horrible to DATE.
Everything is great until you BREAK UP. Then it
might turn into your worst nightmare at dating
My rule “Don’t dip your pen in the company
ink.”
This article is from David Deangelo Newsletter and have been submitted by the architect of free online dating site, know as Dating Idol
quality women and attraction
Sunday, July 20th, 2008***QUESTION***
Hi David,
First off, got the e-book and the CD series, and I
must say it BLEW my mind away. Your e-book helped
me pour on the C&F online to land a girl which I
am currently dating. I can also vouch that
everything else that you address in your material
is working like a charm on her…she can’t get
enough of me. She even started out telling me that
she wasn’t the “type” of girl to get physical too
soon, but C&F took care of that! Everything is
good with her, but I am also trying to date other
women using the direct approach, as my ultimate
goal is to become a Jedi master of women myself
(thanks to your teaching). Now I am working on
myself to improve my direct approach (i.e. body
language, eye contact, mental state, etc.) My
question is for guys like me who are getting their
feet wet with the approaching of women, how do you
recommend we should go about it, where to start? I
mean should we start by approaching and working on
mentality, and then body language, C&F, and then
voice tone…. or do it all at once? Do you have
any advice on which books/tapes are the most
useful for learning these? By the way, please come
give a seminar here in Houston, TX, I’d love to
learn more!
VN Houston, TX
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great question…
I really think that the FIRST thing you need to
get handled is COMFORT approaching women. In other
words, you need to get to the point where you can
walk up to a woman and start talking to her
without turning into an emotional basket case.
If you’re FREAKED out on the inside, it’s going
to be pretty hard for you to act “normal” on the
outside. And it’s going to be even harder to try
new things and use techniques that you’re learning
if you’re uptight.
The best thing you can do is go out and start
conversations with about 50 women over the next
week or two. If you’re too nervous to converse,
just give a compliment and walk away.
Say “Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I think
you’re beautiful. Have a great day.” and walk
away.
After you can do that, then try keeping eye
contact with the woman while you’re saying it.
After that, try pausing for three seconds
before you say the word “beautiful”… all while
keeping eye contact.
If you can do this, you’ll have women stop you
and try to talk to you as you’re walking away.
When you can do this comfortably, then try
asking her a few casual questions to start a
conversation. Ask her if she lives in the area or
if she’s visiting. Ask her what her name is.
Simple stuff.
At this point you’ll be ready to use the three
minute email/phone number technique, and ask for
her email.
I’d say that this is the most important part.
As you’re getting more comfortable talking to
women, you can start to use more and more of the
things you’re learning from the other materials
that you have.
Congratulations on the girl you met online!
Good work!
***QUESTION***
Hi David…
I actually started using the c&f technique before
i ordered your online ebook just by using my own
intuition from what I read in your newsletters.
Needless to say, it’s been working like a charm!
I’ve had 3 women in online chat the last week drop
me their no.’s, with 2 of them BEGGING me to call
them! Of course, I’d never give in, but the most
striking things one of these chicks said was: “I
can’t believe I’m feeling this way about someone
that I hardly even know.” Good stuff man!
I have a question though… There’s this beautiful
redhead in one of my college classes. She seems
particularly ’stuck-up,’ doesn’t really associate
with anyone, and generally seems to be very aloof.
The university I go to is generally very ‘clique’
oriented, where everyone knows everyone else. My
question is, how do i break the bubble with this
chick without her giving me a raised eyebrow, and
what can I do to follow-up on getting her
interested in me?
Sincerely yours,
J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I’m going to give you an answer that you
probably don’t want to hear…
If you’re doing so well meeting women online,
and you have two women begging you to call them,
then why are you focusing on a woman who seems
“particularly stuck up”?
Keep doing what’s working, genius!
But if you’re HELL BENT on the redhead, then
try this:
Go sit next to her in class, and completely
ignore her for most of the class. Pretend that the
seat next to you is actually empty. Don’t look at
her, talk to her, etc.
If she says anything to you during the class,
or asks you a question, answer it in a
disinterested voice and don’t look at her.
Then, as the class is coming closer to ending,
turn to her and look her in the eye and say “So it
it true what they say about redheads?” in a cool,
calm way… maybe one eyebrow raised.
She’ll say “What do they say?”
Answer “Well if you don’t know, I’m not going
to tell you” and give her a sly smile, as if you
know something that she doesn’t.
Then say “What’s your name?”… and after
getting her name say “I have to run after class…
do you have email? Maybe we can study sometime.”
Then hand her your pen as if you FULLY EXPECT
her to write it down.
Try that.
And remember, if you have women online saying
things to you like “I can’t believe I’m feeling
this way about somebody I hardly know”, then you
might want to focus more there!
***QUESTION***
I am still in college, and I have a slight
problem. I have been using your techniques (both
the book and the CD series) and have absolutely no
trouble getting email or digits (or laid for that
matter). But I do have a hard time meeting quality
women. I have quadruple-quadrupled my dating, and
have yet to meet anything I would consider a
keeper. I’ll go on a few dates and all seems well,
then, these issues start flaring up (i.e. abusive
ex-boyfriends, they become obsessively
clingy/needy, drug problems, etc….) Is there
some way to weed out women with these issues ahead
of time? I don’t want to come off as an a**hole or
snobbish, but I am getting more and more selective
as my time and energy are too valuable to waste on
girls that don’t have their act together. Are
there some tell-tell signs up front that I am
failing to see? Oh master jedi, please help me on
the selection/weeding-out process. Until I get
some help, I’ll have to continue to nail every
chick in sight. (I won’t be too upset if you don’t
answer, I just hope my di** doesn’t fall off!!)
(If you haven’t INVESTED in the book and audio
series - you are cheating yourself. In the word’s
of the Stif-meister, “Any time you pass up sex you
are cheating on yourself” - by not INVESTING, you
are passing up the keys to gratuitous sex. Get
this stuff so you can get the real stuff!!) — A
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, thanks for the plug, and congrats on the
success with women.
You have a problem that is a GOOD problem to
have.
And you’re exactly right… the more success
with women you have, the more selective you
become.
Instead of settling for any woman that wants to
settle down, you realize that YOU are the one who
can choose your own future.
It’s a powerful reality to live in.
Unfortunately, it’s a reality that most men on
this planet will never experience.
Let me give you a few hints…
If you want to meet an attractive, healthy
woman to settle down with and have a great
relationship, then you’re probably NOT going to
meet her at a bar, club, strip club, etc.
Go check out some self-improvement classes.
Or go to the gym.
Or take a yoga class.
Start asking the questions that WOMEN usually
ask at first…
“Are your parents still married?”
“How was your childhood?”
“What’s your relationship like with each of
your family members?”
“Have you ever been in an abusive
relationship?”
I know it sounds a little backwards, but you
should probably start asking these questions at
the VERY BEGINNING, when you first meet a girl.
This will save you a lot of time in the long
run.
And remember, there are no perfectly healthy
people running around on this rock called Earth…
Best of fortune to you.
This article is from David Deangelo Newsletter and have been submitte by the architect of free online dating site, know as Dating Idol
Key words women say
Sunday, July 20th, 2008OK, so GET THIS…
I’m reading through some of the bazillion
emails I get every week, and I come across one of
the best emails that I’ve read in a LONG time.
Are you ready for the interesting part?
It’s from a MARRIED GUY.
Yep, you read that right. He’s married.
He reads the newsletters and uses the things he
learns to improve his marriage. Go figure.
This guy was able to explain in a few
paragraphs a concept and technique that I
personally use, but have been unable to actually
explain and verbalize well.
I wish I would have written what you’re about
to read, but I didn’t (but I’m still a cool guy
because I wrote what came before and after it).
Check this out…
***Conversation Technique***
Dave,
I’m still having great success with a rekindled
marriage using you’re Tips on my wife. Thanks a
million. Listen, I keep reading over and over in
the MailBags guys wanting to know how to start,
then keep a conversation going with women. I work
for a major oil company and have been through many
of there training courses on dealing with people.
One particularly interesting course was on
“Information Seeking”. For this we first practiced
picking up on “Key words or phrases” the subject
said. For instance, I’ll try and give an example
using c&f even though you wouldn’t use this
professionally on the job. Lets say you see this
great looking chick on the street and you tell
her, “That’s an unusual looking dress you’re
wearing. Was that made out of a shower curtain?”
She says, “Your mean! No, I bought this from the
Old Navy store.” Key Words: Old Navy. “Oh, so
you’re in the Navy, huh?” “No silly. You know, the
big store over at the Mall.” Key word: Mall. “Oh,
so you like going to the Mall and buying strange
looking dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy
them also?” “My girlfriends are neat dressers and
my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!” Key
phrases: “girlfriends are neat dressers” and
“dress is popular”. “Well, if your girlfriends are
neat dressers in a popular dress like you’re
wearing then I’m going into the shower curtain
clothing business…” I know, this is a lame
example but the lessons are this.
1) You start a conversation with however you want
then pick out key words or phrases from what the
person says.
2) You repeat them in what you say then listen for
new key words in there next response.
3) You add a little something new into the
conversation REPEATING there words you’re using as
Key words or phrases. This tells them you’re
listening, even though you’re turning things
around to be c/f in this situation.
Once we learned to keep someone talking for 5
minutes, then 15 minutes the company actually
hired total strangers from a job soliciting
company to come and be our subjects. While being
videotaped we had to get the person talking and
keep them talking for 30 minutes. One important
note: If a person brings up something personal or
whatever, they wouldn’t have mentioned it if they
didn’t want to talk about it. These are great to
Key in on. My subject mentioned she was going
through a divorce and her ex-husband was a total
jerk. I keyed in on this and it’s amazing what a
total stranger will tell you once you build a
little rapport. When watching the video you pick
up on mistakes or you see something different you
could have said. You also pick up on Key words and
phases you missed. It just takes a little
practice. This is just one example of how you can
start a conversation and keep it going. Hopefully
it can be of help to you’re readers.
JTM Texas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Awesome.
This is an EXCELLENT description of how to keep
a conversation going, keep it interesting and
unpredictable, and talk about ANYTHING and have it
be fun. on dating
Read it again.
Now, let me sprinkle a little magic dust on
this and tell you how I use this technique
personally.
When I’m having a conversation with a woman,
I’m not just listening for ANY key word… I’m
listening for a particular KIND of key word (or
words).
I’m always on the alert for any words or
phrases that can be twisted, turned around,
misinterpreted, and misconstrued (is that a word?)
in one of a few particular ways…
Namely, in a way that says she’s stupid, ditzy,
sexually crazed, or acting suspicious.
For instance, in your example above, you
suggested the following:
“That’s an unusual looking dress you’re wearing.
Was that made out of a shower curtain?” She says,
“You’re mean! No, I bought this from the Old Navy
store.” Key Words: Old Navy. “Oh, so you’re in the
Navy, huh?” “No silly. You know, the big store
over at the Mall.” Key word: Mall. “Oh, so you
like going to the Mall and buying strange looking
dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy them
also?” “My girlfriends are neat dressers and my
dress is very popular I’ll have you know!” Key
phrases: “girlfriends are neat dressers” and
“dress is popular”. “Well, if your girlfriends are
neat dressers in a popular dress like you’re
wearing then I’m going into the shower curtain
clothing business…”
Good. Nice one.
Now, let’s dial it up a little bit…
She says, “No, I bought this from the Old Navy
store…”
Instead of just keying into “Navy” and saying,
“Oh, so you’re in the navy, huh?”, why not take it
to the next step and actually MAKE FUN of her.
“Oh, so is this what guys used to wear in the
Navy a long time ago… in the OLD Navy?”
Now you’re BUSTING on her as well, AND it’s
funny.
She says, “No silly. you know, the big store
over at the Mall.”
You might try, “What kind of MALL are YOU
shopping at? And do your girlfriends buy dresses
like that one too?”
Again, you’re hinting that she has funky taste
and she shops in weird places.
She says, “My girlfriends are neat dressers and
my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!”
You could go with, “Oh, you have girlfriends?
You have more than one? Do they all know that you
think of them as a girlfriend? Or is one of them
the special one? By the way, if you have cute
girlfriends, then I think you and I are going to
get along VERY well.”
…are you with me here?
What I’m doing is NOT ONLY looking for key
words to latch onto, but I’m ALSO looking for ways
to spin them to make fun, tease, and subtly
suggest various kinds of “racy” topics.
When done in a funny way, it’s magic.
This article is from David Deangelo Newsletter and have been submitte by the architect of free online dating site, know as Dating Idol
How to get attention
Sunday, June 29th, 2008Some lessons to be learned which you can use it at Free online dating site
Hey Dave, how’s it hanging?
Read your stuff…interesting. Makes a lot of
sense to appear different then all the others. I
have one question, however. This C&F stuff (can I
call it “friendly mocking”?) really only works on
women who are sure of themselves and who will not
take your jokes to the heart. But how many of
those are in the world? I mean, with today’s
“perfect” pop-stars most women have at least some
insecurities. So, how can you use this technique
and not accidentally hit a weak spot? Is there a
neutral C&F approach?
J Brooklyn, NY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I think you’re hitting on an important point
here.
I think that a lot of guys “secretly” want to
figure out a way to meet women without RISKING
anything.
This is probably why personal ads and online
dating web sites are so popular.
The problem with not wanting to RISK anything
is that it creates a mindset that leads to being
AVERAGE.
And “average” doesn’t create ATTRACTION.
I teach guys to use a specific kind of humor
that I call “Cocky & Funny”.
One of the purposes of the Cocky & Funny
technique is to clearly demonstrate that you are
NOT intimidated by a woman, and to INSTANTLY
communicate that you are DIFFERENT from other men.
You’d like to know the magic way to “not
accidentally hit a weak spot”…
But guess what?
Accidents happen.
Risk is part of life.
Don’t worry so much about hitting a “weak spot”
while you’re teasing or busting on a woman… just
concern yourself with making sure you’re being
FUNNY while you’re doing it.
If you meet a woman who is so sensitive that
she can’t take a joke, or you “accidentally” over
do it, don’t worry about it. No biggie.
She’s probably either too uptight or
emotionally fragile for you to have a good time
with anyway.
If you want to make a cake, you have to break a
few eggs, man.
Remember, your objective isn’t to be MEAN to
women, or to hurt them… your objective is to use
a specific type of humor to create ATTRACTION.
And give up this “neutral” idea. Neutral is
BORING. And Boring is NOT the way to create
ATTRACTION.
***QUESTION***
David “The Man”–
First of all, your Advanced CD Series is THE most
definitive exhaustive resource on dating ever
written. It boggles my mind that nobody ever
figured this stuff out before. You are the
research scientist that broke the mold of all that
bookstore fluff, the Darwin of Dating.
I can now approach and get the email of a woman
who would have made me shake in my boots just a
few months ago. My most recent success was a girl
I dated who I turned up the C+F to the max, but my
old inner wussy made a brief appearance and that
was that. Oh well. “Next!” I’ll get better and
better.
I have improved quite a bit, but I’m looking for
some guy friends as you suggest. However, I’m
having a problem finding guys who are good with
women. I’m not seeing them. All I see everywhere
I go are wusses. Any thoughts or ideas?
I’ve also thought about finding friends who are
students of yours so we can get together for team
efforts. Any suggestions here?
Thanks again for the incredible impact you’ve had
on my life.
J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, I have one thought for you…
This “Everywhere I go all I see is wusses”
thing can be a challenge. I shake my head almost
every single time I go out, because I think we’re
in the middle of a WUSS EPIDEMIC in this country.
Keep looking.
It’s worth it.
If you have to, ask friends and associates at
work if they know any guys who are really good
with women.
And remember, be cool. Guys who are good with
women often like to help other guys learn. But
don’t be a boat anchor around his neck…
If you do your homework and find some guys who
can help you, it will REALLY pay off.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Sir,
I received one of you Q&A emails by mistake, I’m
sure. I am an intelligent, female professional and
I reall-ll-ll-lly had a good laugh after reviewing
your web site as well.
If you think that ALL women will be turned on by
these things, you are very mistaken. The classy,
sophisticated, and well educated as well as
intriguing and very attractive will have totally
different opinions on all these subjects. I think
you would do better to consider your experience as
incomplete.
However, I’m sure you are making an obscene
amount of money by offering this misinformation
for sale to men.
Laughing Uncontrollably in Alaska
>>>MY COMMENTS:
An intelligent female professional that lives
in ALASKA?
Don’t even get me started there…
And since you seem to be claiming here that
you’re an AUTHORITY on “The classy, sophisticated,
and well educated… as well as intriguing and
very attractive” women… I have to ask you where
you’re getting this particular education…
Alaska?
Maybe those words mean something different
where you’re from.
Whatever.
Look, I used to be a “nice”, sweet, BORING guy
who did nice things for women, acted respectful,
and generally was everything I thought a “good
guy” should be.
And my success with meeting and attracting
women was horrible.
I had a few good relationships with attractive
women, but these were ACCIDENTAL. It only happened
because I was in the right place at the right
time, and because the women just happened to have
NOTHING BETTER GOING ON.
Now that I do what I teach, I’m able to attract
beautiful women whenever I want.
You do the math.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Hey Dave,
I forward your news letter to my ex-husband and to
my other male friends and they all thanked me for
it. I agree with all of your advice. It’s kind of
scary how well you read women. You have also
helped me to realize what I’m attracted to and
why. Take care!
S MD
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, it’s OK for you to admit that you’re
attracted to ME.
I don’t blame you.
You forgot to include your picture, dear.
Waiting patiently.
Your friend,
David D.
P.S. Stop forwarding these emails to your Ex.
It’s bad enough that you love me… but to add
insult to injury for the poor guy…
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
So, I go into a shoe store the other day and I’m
just kind of browsing. The clerk– a cutie of age
21–asks me if she can help me. I kindly ask her
to get me a certain pair to try on. As I put the
shoes on, she enthusiastically squeaked, “WOW
THOSE SHOES LOOK GREAT ON YOU!!!”. I mocked her in
the same hi-pitch tone, “YOU’RE ON COMMISION YOU
NEED TO SAY THAT!!” She gave me that playful
little slap on the arm and told me I was “a little
sh**”. I go on teasing her for 5 minutes or so
and she asks me if I would like a job at this
store. When she gave me the application, she also
hands me her HOME ADDRESS and phone number and
asked me to hand deliver it that night. To keep it
short, that nite I gave her more than my job
resume!!!
Now, David, the previous situation is very unusual
for me, as I rarely have much to say, period. I’ve
always been very shy and very quiet but am
starting to come out of that. I’m not scared to
approach women or anything but I just don’t know
how to start or keep conversation, you know? I’ve
read books on this, listened to tapes and nothing
seems to help. Dave, I need some advice!!!
DK Indiana
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, nice one!
Great example of how to use Cocky & Funny with
a woman!
And as for meeting women, stop worrying about
STARTING OR KEEPING CONVERSATIONS GOING.
Just walk up to women, get their phone numbers,
and then get together with them later for a cup of
tea.
No “starting of conversations” required.
Use my 3 minute email/number technique, and
then break out your killer sense of humor later
when you’re alone with her.
You’re doing fine… don’t worry about
“conversations”.
And if you do wind up in a conversation, just
start out by talking about normal things, then
transition into the Cocky & Funny material as you
progress.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I have been receiving your emails for a while now
and boy have they been working. As a matter of
fact, I was actually using the C/F all the time,
without even realizing it. For example,
In one of my classes there is this girl that acts
weird most of the time (she’s a solid 9.5) and one
day she was talking to me, and I just turned
around and said to my friend: “Did you say mental
hospital?” I got a shot in the arm for that one.
I kept unknowingly using C/F on her for maybe
three days and then after one C/F comment she
replied (with her hand on my shoulder): “I like
you, you make me laugh” then she winked and turned
around. I was shocked! I mean, I had basically
been making fun of her. Little did I know that I
had been doing everything right (this was before I
started getting your emails).
So anyway, my question. I have no problems meeting
women in malls, on campus etc, but what about
online? Are there any C/F comments I can use to
start a conversation? The only ones I can think of
are when they have ridiculous/absurd chat names.
Thanks
A
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, one of the GREAT things about teasing
women is that you can basically GUESS things about
them and they’ll respond.
For instance, if you’re talking to a woman
online, and you haven’t seen her picture, you can
say:
“OK, you’re probably some hairy, manly, seven
hundred pound beast… and that’s why you haven’t
sent me your picture…”
(Use this kind of thing when she says that
she’s a model or dancer, etc. and it’s obviously
not even close.)
The bolder you are, and the funnier, the better
you’ll do when guessing.
Try it, you’ll like it.
***QUESTION***
Dave-
Whussup Man? Well I’m not gonna waste your time
or mine telling you about how great your teaching
and knowledge is, because we both already know
what’s up! I’m a 19 yr old who has downloaded your
ebook and I’ve read about the last 20+ emails..
I’m learning a lot. But I’m not where I want to be
yet.
Well here is what happened. I had lady friend
of mine over to the house the other night. Now we
have been friends for a little while now and I
have to tried in the past to pursue this woman but
like a lot of males in the world.. I would always
turn wussy on her. This women is about 5′
nothing’,
with a beautiful mind and a beautiful body, (she
is a 8 or 9 on my scale, and I’m picky.)*the radio
is ON* We haven’t talked in a while so we caught
up on each others lives..had some laughs with the
cocky/funny attitude and I even fixed dinner! Well
I told her before I made dinner that when we
finished eating she owed me a 30 min. massage. She
said okay. Now, we get done eating and she tells
me to dim the lights and lay down. She tells me
she is goin’ to wash her hands and never comes
back.. SHE LEFT!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
JF from Texas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What happened?
You went and spanked your chicken with reckless
abandon?
You cried yourself to sleep?
lol… it’s probably horrible that I’m laughing
at your misery, but hey, these things happen.
Don’t worry about it, man.
Next time, try making something other than
“Hamburger Helper” with rainbow popsicles for
dessert.
I think you’re gonna live.
The problem is that you acted like a WUSSY for
so long, that the thought of you being anything
more than a friend made her RUN all the way home.
You created your own problem, by trying to make
a girl who was convinced that you were a Wuss into
something more than a friend. It’s not easy.
***COMMENT***
Today I met an ex-girlfriend (and now good friend
and occasional date) for lunch at an Indian
buffet. This is a woman who has commented in the
past that she didn’t like my cocky side (either I
wasn’t doing it right, or she was lying), so I was
looking for a good opportunity to segue into a C&F
routine and see how it affected her. At one point
she complained that the bread was cold, and that I
should go get some fresh stuff…
ME: What’s in it for me? [unoriginal line] HER:
I’ll stay and finish lunch at your table.
Otherwise, I’ll go get the bread and sit over
there by myself. [great answer!] ME: Well,
that’d be embarrassing. HER: Yup. ME: Everyone in
the restaurant would think that you had to
move because you’ve got real bad gas.
And it went from there. You could see her eyes
getting brighter throughout the conversation, and
it ended with:
HER: Wow, you’re feisty today… ME: Yeah, so…?
HER: So, it’s really… attractive. ME [laughing]:
Boy, you’re easy today…
That’s a confession straight from the source:
feisty = attractive. And she went on to
demonstrate her attraction after lunch in an
unusually aggressive manner. I think everything
you’re saying is capital-T Truth, brother.
You know, people assume that Kissinger was talking
about political power being the ultimate
aphrodisiac, but I think there are many nuances to
the word “power”, and you don’t have to be a
senator or CEO to exploit it.
Interesting aside: I was discussing this with an
insightful female friend, and she agreed with
everything you say, and added that women don’t
want to be our mothers… and if we treat them
like we treat our mothers (i.e., act like a wuss),
what does that say?
C.K.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Amen, brother. Amen.
Feisty, Sassy, Cheeky, Ballsy… = ATTRACTION.
***QUESTION***
hey dave-lets get to the chase. 2 things (first
the success story).. i met this chik who was
getting off work..yelled out “HEY!” and she came
over to me.. i started talking about anything and
everything to get/keep her attention..busting on
her and all ..she gave me her # after 20 minutes..
BUt i didn’t call. then i ran into her again in
the
neighborhood but this time i did the same thing
“whats your # again?” and then finally i wrote it
down and scored on the second meeting after
coffee.. the stuff works bro
now for the wuss part..i meet this chik last
summer who was in town for her job assignment that
lasted for 1 month. Shes a real player. We met
again after the party (she called me and said hey
I’m coming over) and within 30 minutes she was in
my bed in her bra/panties BUT i didn’t do anything
cause she was complaining about how guys are such
dogs. so i didn’t do anything for the next 5
meetings. She said “I’m glad you never did
anything
cause we still wouldn’t be talking if u did”.
Anyway, last time we meet she invites me AND 4
other guys for dinner. she sits on their laps
(just like she did with me) to make me jealous. we
have kept in touch for 5 months and next month
she’ll be back for a 2 week visit. i have heard
shes talking to 5 other guys in town besides me.
whenever i confront her on the phone about these
guys she says “nooo! I’m not! and I’ve never slept
with any of them so ignore the rumors! who do you
believe them or me??!” she called me 1 month ago
and let my phone ring once, and then when i called
her back it was a guys voice (she moved in with
her “friend” from high school)
my question is: i told her how i felt about her
and she already said she just wants to be friends
because she travels around a lot. she’ll be
staying with 1 or 2 of these guys shes talking to
when she comes back and will try to make me sooo
jealous i know it. she called me last week and
actually asked me for one of these guys numbers. I
got angry and hung up on her (something i would
never have done before) and then she called me
back and actually seems a lot more interested.
Then i called her yesterday from work and told her
that a stripper approached me at a bar and asked
me out and then this girl said “ohh well why don’t
you go out with her then?” but then said “OH by
the way Im coming back on APRIL 21st”.. i want to
beat her at her own damn game! but i already gave
her so much power. i wish i could just take it all
back and make her feel the same way.
HOW DO I HANDLE THIS GIRL:??? SHES DRIVING ME
NUTS!!!
CJ
Houston,TX
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, this is actually a very powerful story.
First, she intimidated you by telling you that
“guys are dogs”… which caused you to not try to
take things to a physical level.
When you did that, YOU FAILED THE FIRST TEST.
She intimidated you with her words!
Then, the more you pursued her without
progressing, the more she tested you.
Until she finally started INSULTING you…
right in front of a bunch of other guys!
By the way, when you mentioned that after you
hung up on her she seemed a lot more interested…
it’s probably true.
Look, man…. BAIL! Drop it. Hit the road.
You screwed up in the beginning by handing over
control of the relationship to her, and it’s not
worth the trouble or hassle to try to take it
back.
She’s probably the type of girl that LOVES to
play guys and make them chase her… and who
enjoys seeing how much a guy will do to get her…
only to leave after he does all he can.
Move on.
Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo
Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site
Some secrets about women mom part2
Sunday, June 29th, 2008OK. Let’s talk about what we can actually LEARN
from this kind of phenomenon which would help you in Free online dating site
The thing that really fascinates me about
people is THEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S
GOING ON… even though it’s going on IN PLAIN
SIGHT ALL AROUND THEM… and the even MORE amazing
tendency to ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHEN one of these
OBVIOUS THINGS IS PRESENTED TO THEM.
I’ve read some fascinating books about the
concept of “self-deception”, and I’ve come to
realize that we humans have an amazing capacity
for not seeing what’s there… to the point where
it can be very bad for us.
Like I just said, we often ARGUE about things
that are OBVIOUS to others… which makes it even
worse.
I need to stop ranting and raving, and land the
plane on this one…
This mechanism is, of course, a survival
mechanism that helps us to weed out all of the
useless information that’s coming in through our
senses at any given time, but it can go overboard
and prevent us from seeing USEFUL information as
well.
Next Point: A lot of our cultural and social
programming is “off-base” to some degree, which
causes us to see things and interpret things
incorrectly when we do see them.
Finally, we humans don’t like to change our
beliefs about things. We don’t like to admit that
we might be wrong in the first place, and we feel
unstable or insecure when we realize that a
fundamental truth we have held all our life is
incorrect.
Lump all of this together, and you have moms
who teach their sons the “proper” way to act and
men who have NO IDEA how to be successful with
women… and then women who REALLY get upset when
you actually start teaching men what WORKS to
attract women (for more evidence of this, just
read some of these newsletters I’m sending you!)
Wow, I’m really going on an unusually
intellectual rant today! Nice. This is making me
feel pretty smart… I think I’ll keep it up…
So, what’s all this information good for?
Well, to start off, I think that it’s important
in life to continually question YOUR OWN beliefs
about how things work and what is possible.
I think it’s also good to constantly question
your LIMITING beliefs.
Unfortunately, most people do the opposite…
they question their ability to succeed and they
doubt their own ability to get what they want.
Most people constantly “self-sabotage”
themselves.
If instead, you question your LIMITATIONS and
your LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly look
with your own eyes to see if there’s something
going on that nobody mentioned to you, then you’ll
begin to see things that will blow your mind.
It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize that
ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE. But as soon as I say
it, you can immediately get what I’m talking
about, and maybe even have a profound realization
that will lead to success.
The phrase “Attraction Isn’t A Choice” makes
you have the “ah ha” that you can’t make a woman
feel attraction for you by CONVINCING her… so
you STOP.
Now, I didn’t figure this out by having someone
TELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning the
things I was hearing, and by following my own
intuition that there was a SOLUTION to this puzzle
called “women and dating”.
So, here’s a “home work” assignment for you:
1 - Write down all of the things that SHOULD work
when it comes to making women feel attracted to
you. This might include buying gifts and food,
giving constant compliments, and acting “nice”.
2 - Write down your own personal experience of
what ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these “socially
correct things that mom taught you” with women.
3 - Pretend for a moment that everything you’ve
been taught about women is wrong. Furthermore,
pretend that women are actually wired in REVERSE.
If this were true, what kinds of things would
result in a woman feeling ATTRACTION for a man?
Does this open up some new possibilities for
you?
I invite you to question “common sense” and
“what your mother taught you” about women.
I also invite you to come and learn some of the
VERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniques
that I’ve learned, developed, refined, and
described in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD
program.
The ideas that I’ve just discussed are part of
what I consider to be the “Inner Game” of dating
success.
Most guys spend almost NO time working on their
Inner Game… instead, they spend time learning
things like “pick up lines” and other almost
USELESS stuff.
If you don’t have your “Inner Game” together,
you’ll never be effective with “techniques and
tricks”.
In my Advanced Dating Techniques program, I
spend several HOURS teaching you one Inner Game
technique after another… showing you how to
overcome fear, improve your self image and self
esteem… and get past limiting beliefs that stop
you from even TRYING to meet women.
If you’re like me, and you’ve had a lot of
negative programming earlier in life, then you
MUST get that stuff handled. It’s not going to
handle itself… YOU have to do it.
Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo
Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site
Avoid paying to get attention from her
Sunday, June 29th, 2008Learn the right way do it and try it at free online dating websites
I have friends, who are very good with women,
that take women to NICE dinners all the time. I’m
talking two hundred PLUS dollars for dinner and
drinks ALONE.
I also have friends who almost NEVER take women
out for so much as a cup of coffee… yet they
have more women than they can handle.
Is this possible?
Are the guys who are buying dinner actually
SUCCESSFUL at bribing women with food?
Or do both techniques work?
Well, the interesting thing I’ve found - after
studying this topic for YEARS - is that most guys
who are REALLY GOOD with women have something in
common in this area.
While some may buy expensive dinners for women,
and some may buy nothing, NONE of them use the
idea of paying for things as “bait” or “bribes” or
“obligation”…
In other words, it’s the INTENTION behind the
actions that comes through loud and clear.
My friends that take women on dates to
beautiful restaurants would be GOING THERE ANYWAY,
and they just happen to be taking the woman along
with them.
Or if they open a bottle of expensive wine,
THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.
I also have to mention here that all of the
guys I know in BOTH camps know how ATTRACTION
works, and how to make women feel attracted to
them REGARDLESS of whether or not they pay for
things.
To explain this differently, women INSTANTLY
RECOGNIZE it when they’re dealing with a man who
feels the need to “buy her attention”, and they
usually either play hard to get, or they just
leave.
You can do anything and have it mean anything.
There’s a way to say “You’re beautiful” and
have it mean “You’re not at all attractive”, and
there’s a way to pay for things and NOT have it
say “I’m a needy Wussy who feels the need to buy
you things so you’ll like me”.
Get it?
One of the problems that a lot of guys have is
the real-world issue of money.
It’s expensive to take women out all the time.
It’s expensive to buy flowers and drinks and
gifts.
And if you’re single and dating a lot of women,
it can be out of the question to always be paying
for things.
Well, the good news is that you don’t need to
pay for ANYTHING to be successful with women.
And the other good news is that if you LIKE to
do nice things and go to nice dinners, THERE IS A
WAY to do these things with women and not give off
the “I don’t deserve you, so I’ll pay you for your
attention” vibes.
Think about the following two ways to invite a
woman out to dinner with you:
1) “Can I take you out to dinner on Friday night?”
2) “I’m thinking of going to dinner on Friday at
one of my favorite restaurants, and you should
join me.”
What’s the difference?
The difference is that the first way IMPLIES
that you are TAKING her to dinner.
The second IMPLIES that you’re living your
life, doing your own thing, and being your own
person… and that if she’d like to come along,
she’s welcome.
The second also doesn’t make you sound like a
WUSSY.
So what’s my personal opinion of this whole
topic?
Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to start
off with a woman by PAYING for things.
It’s much better to allow her to like you and
feel ATTRACTION for you without the distraction
and expense.
If you understand how ATTRACTION works, you can
trigger it using your body language and
communication. No money required.
Then, if you want to enjoy dinner or a drink at
one of your favorite places, INVITE HER TO JOIN
YOU. Don’t ask her if you can “take her out”.
This will make a VERY powerful impression.
Trust me.
- THE FLIP SIDE OF THIS COIN…
There is another “dark” side to this whole
conversation.
It’s the idea that men feel OBLIGATED or
INDEBTED to a woman when the woman spends time
with them, gives them attention, etc.
If you’re out with a beautiful woman who
OBVIOUSLY has many men who pursue her, it’s easy
to get into the mind set of “I have to do extra
things, buy her gifts, and go the extra mile to
compete with the other guys”.
Sometimes emotions come up that make you feel
like you want to “show her” how you feel for her
early on… after only knowing her a short while.
OR EVEN WORSE, many guys feel like they OWE A
WOMAN SOMETHING BECAUSE SHE’S GONE OUT WITH THEM
AND/OR HAD SEX WITH THEM. And often, this
“something” is either “dinner and gift payments”
or a RELATIONSHIP.
You must realize that EVEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN IN THE WORLD want MORE than just “payment
for their time”.
Attractive women have dinners, money, and gifts
thrown at them CONSTANTLY. You’re not going to do
ANYTHING to make her more attracted to you by
doing these things.
As you know, I talk a lot about the concept of
ATTRACTION.
ATTRACTION is the powerful sexual emotion that
you feel when you want to be intimately and
romantically involved with someone of the opposite
sex.
Men typically feel it when they see a beautiful
woman.
WOMEN typically feel it when they’re in the
presence of a man who knows how to communicate
with that part of her that triggers her ATTRACTION
“mechanism”.
Most guys either don’t know this, never figure
it out, or don’t pay attention to it.
Instead of learning how women work, and doing
those things that will trigger her ATTRACTION,
they just make the same mistakes and beat their
heads up against the same walls over and over.
And they do things like asking women out to
dinner, buying flowers and TRYING TO PAY for
attention.
It doesn’t have to be this way!
If you’re one of the guys who has been paying
for women’s attention all your life, then do
yourself a favor right now and STOP IT!
Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo
Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site
Do you need to pay to get her attention
Sunday, June 29th, 2008It’s the topic of PAYING FOR THINGS FOR WOMEN at free online dating
This includes paying for drinks and dinners,
buying her gifts and taking her out to shows.
The question is: “Should I pay?”
Most guys feel OBLIGATED to pay if they go out
with a woman on a date.
Most guys feel COMPELLED to buy women gifts,
flowers, etc. and “take women out” to “show them a
good time”.
In fact, the “standard” approach for many guys
is simply asking a woman “Can I take you out
sometime?”
Of course, there’s ALWAYS more than meets the
eye when it comes to these kinds of issues, and
this one is no exception.
Take a moment and ask yourself this question:
WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE? WHY DO MEN USUALLY
BUY THINGS FOR WOMEN? WHAT’S THE REAL ISSUE?
If you’re willing to be completely open and
honest about it, you’ll realize that most men:
1) Use dinners, flowers, gifts, and other “favors”
as bait and/or payment for women’s time and
attention.
2) Don’t feel deep down like an ATTRACTIVE woman
would want to be with them JUST BECAUSE SHE
ENJOYED THEIR COMPANY and felt ATTRACTION for
them.
3) Have no idea what the ACTUAL affect of trying
to lure women with these kinds of things is.
4) <MOST IMPORTANTLY> DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
I can remember when I used to think that I
needed to always take a woman out, buy them
dinner, and pay for whatever I could think of to
get a woman’s attention.
It was really a horrible feeling.
The worst part was that the more nice things I
did for women when I first met them, the more
apprehensive and “standoffish” they seemed to act.
It was almost as if they interpreted my actions
as ME TRYING TOO HARD, and they instinctively
played “hard to get” in response.
The question of “Should I pay for dinner?” is
as old as dirt. So let me answer it with one of my
typical multi-part answers.
And the first part of my answer is going to be
another question to YOU…
WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WOMAN’S DINNER?
And for that matter, why would you buy gifts
and do favors for a woman that you just met and
don’t know?
IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING.
And guess what?
Attractive women are VERY perceptive. They can
usually size a guy up in a matter of SECONDS.
Article is from newsletter from David Deangelo
Try the learned tricks at Free Dating site
Selecting a Online Dating site Part2
Thursday, June 19th, 2008Part 2 Of selecting a online dating site ….
6.
Of the websites you have listed, which offer you the most amount of options in the dating criteria important to you? Many of the larger sites provide you with a wealth of options to choose from when both posting your profile and searching for someone - which offer the most that suit your needs? Put these at the top of your list. Any that are too expensive, don’t have a lot of people in your geographic area, or offer few matching options should be removed completely.
7.
Choose some of your top dating sites - the amount is up to you but try for less than ten. Take advantage of their free sign up (every single dating site offers free signups; it’s contacting people that costs money). Search the other members, take a peek at the features, and smile at a couple of interesting singles. See how the interface works, and whether or not the quality, and quantity of singles in your area is acceptable.
8.
After a week or so, you’ll notice that you spend more time at one or two sites. Maybe they are easier to use, pleasing to the eye, quick with response times, have a plethora of singles to choose from, or offer many of the features you need. Whatever the reason, you’ll know within the week which sites to invest more time into.
9.
What if none of your top ten take your fancy? It’s back to the original list of dating sites you compiled in step five. Don’t worry - you’ll find exactly what you need and want. It just takes some of us a bit longer than others.