***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
Dave, Why is it that a woman who is only
interested in the funny, cocky and challenging
(i.e., interesting) men, later in life tries to
raise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and “nice”?
(i.e., run of the mill)!! WS New York
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a VERY interesting question, and I’m
glad you emailed me to ask it.
I’m going to give you my personal take on this.
But, more importantly, I’m going to talk about how
these kinds of paradoxes exist right in plain
sight all around us… and how to interpret them
so you can increase your own personal success with
women and dating.
So, to answer your question first…
I’ve spent a lot of time researching this
topic, and doing a lot of personal testing to see
if I could find some answers.
Right now, as I write this, I think that it
goes like this:
“Being Nice” in the way that you’re describing,
usually means things like: giving compliments,
buying gifts, providing food, doing favors,
tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending to
be in a good mood even if you’re not, etc.
I believe that this is mostly a SOCIALLY and
CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of “rules”. There may
be some “hard wiring” in us that makes us
“naturally” want to do nice things for women so
they’ll give us approval, but I think it’s mostly
PROGRAMMED into us…
Now, think about it this way: These “nice”
things are typically very FEMININE things to do…
So, what’s a mom in today’s culture going to
teach her son?
Of course… how to be “nice” to girls.
And, what if there’s no dad around to help out
in the “training” of a son? You guessed it… even
MORE “nice” programming from mom.
The bottom line is that most of the people
walking around on this planet have NO IDEA how
ATTRACTION works, and therefore will never be able
to TEACH another person how this fabulous process
works.
This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wanted
the best for you, she just had no idea how to
explain what makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom may
have gotten the tingles when she saw Clint
Eastwood shooting everyone… and Neil Diamond
running around with his sneer, hairy chest and
that pickle in his jeans… (and that reminds
me… EWWWWWW… your mom is gross, dude).
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